Those Beautiful Green Eyes
by paris1601
Summary: They say The eyes are the window to the soul. But will this help Kenren find Tenpou's missing soul on earth? Shonen ai,58, COMPLETE
1. Prologue

_This is my first Saiyuki fic and is also my first fic in, like, years. Feel free to comment and criticize. I would appreciate it since my writing has deteriorated so much. Don't kill me if the characters are OOC or the events are inconsistent with the series, I've watched only parts of Gensomaden Saiyuki and Saiyuki Reload._

_Since I accidentally deleted my own fic...(big oops on my part), I changed some things that were pointed out to me. Sorry, I wasn't thinking about you guys when I first wrote this fic. Sorry for being so inconsiderate. Gojyo/Kenren is talking._

_Thanks to Bmisty157 and MikaSamu for their reviews. _

_Paris_

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Prologue**_

"Gojyo!"

Hakkai? Why do I feel numb? Where are you? We were just fighting Gyumaoh...

A flash of light... That must be your _chi gong_. I turn my head in the direction of the light, but everything is blurry and dim. I feel like I'm looking into a tunnel and my vision is limited.

"Gojyo! Are you alright?" I hear you ask me.

I can't move. How the hell do you think I feel? But all I manage to say out loud is, "'Kai...?"

"I think your neck is broken..." you inform me, but I think it's just you taking mental notes about my condition. I can't see your whole face, but I can see green eyes staring down at me in concern. Your monocle is gone...

You know, you look better without your monocle. You shouldn't ever put it back. Take it from a lady's man; girls will like you better this way.

"I always thought your eyes were beautiful..." I murmur.

Those beautiful green eyes...

Why do you look so panicked? Your voice is calm and soothing, but I can see that you're afraid. What are you afraid of?

"Gojyo, please lie here and don't move. I don't want you to get any more injured than you already are," you ask me ever so politely.

If I could, I would snort. Like I can even move...

You're beyond my line of sight, but I can hear you perfectly. The world grows dim. "Goku, please stop!" I hear you cry out in alarm.

Goku? Why are you asking Goku to stop? Isn't he beating the hell out of Gyumaoh? And where the hell is that girly-monk Sanzo? Shouldn't he be the one keeping the rein on his idiot monkey?

I hear a loud crash. Everything turns black. You're back, beside me. "Sorry, Gojyo, it looks like I won't live long enough to pay you back for saving my life," your voice is trembling the way it does when you're in a lot of pain.

Hey, 'sokay, man. Don't stress about it. I know we're going to die. I don't really mind. Life's a bitch. At least I'll be a good looking corpse.

I see light again, and then I see you looking down at me with those beautiful green eyes. They're apologetic now.

As my world goes black with your energy spent and your chi dying, I notice something. There's something else in that sorrowful gaze of yours...Isn't there, Hakkai?

...then there was nothing.


	2. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter One**_

I wake up with a start.

I've dreamt about dying before. In the centuries that made up my life, I must have dreamt up a hundred lifetimes in my sleep.

But this time...

I place a hand on my chest. My heart was beating so wildly that I felt like it was about to burst.

...Why was there so much pain in dying?

"Oh...You're awake," Konzen greets me in a disinterested manner.

What the hell is Konzen doing in my room! Contrary to popular belief, my brain works faster than my mouth does; and before I can face Konzen to voice out my question in the loudest way possible, my head is covered with my own clothes. I quickly extricate myself from my uniform. "What the hell are you doing here?" I scream at the blonde I have very little love for.

"Tenpou mentioned that you slept naked so I came to make sure you were awake and dressed before my intrusive aunt came in," Konzen replied matter-of-factly. "Enough of heaven has seen enough of you."

"Sure you didn't come in here to take a peek yourself? You're pretty, but I don't go for guys," I leer at him as I slip on a shirt, which smells newly washed. "Hey, you've been going through my closet!" I accuse Konzen while routinely ignoring his angry shouts of 'I have no interest in you, you arrogant son of a bitch!'

I slide my legs into my pants and easily pull it up to my waist. I notice it's a bit loose as I button it up. Strange... that doesn't make sense.

"Konzen, what are you doing here?" Kanzeon Bosatsu's voice floats up to my ears just as I finish dressing up. I hear the light amusement in the goddess' tone as she said, "I didn't know you were friends with Kenren as well."

"I'm not friends with him," Konzen grunts before stalking off.

Just for fun, I head for the door and call after Konzen, "Don't be so short-tempered. You'll wrinkle that pretty face of yours early."

"Urusai!" Konzen roars back.

For some reason, I almost expect Konzen to pull out a gun and shoot at me. Weird.

I turn to the Goddess of Mercy and see her watching me with the same amusement I heard in her voice when she was talking to Konzen. Her smile was unreadable as she stared at me. "How have you been, Kenren?" she asks pushing herself off the wall she had been leaning on.

Of course, any normal soldier would be bewildered as to why the Goddess of Mercy would be so interested in their affairs, but I'm not a regular soldier even when I had been stripped of my rank (which Tenpou so kindly helped me restore). "Okay, I guess," I shrug, not really knowing how to answer. Life in heaven is boring.

"Don't you find life in heaven a bit boring?"

Whoa! I know she's a goddess and all, but reading minds? "What other life is there? I don't have as much patience with books as Tenpou does and..."

"Oh, Tenpou?" Kanzeon Bosatsu almost laughed. "You speak so casually about your superior officer?" She gestures towards the garden and doesn't give me a chance to answer. "Would you like to take a walk, Kenren?"

I shrug, more as a sign of assent than uncaring, and follow her down the hall. My mind fills with questions as our first few steps are filled with silence.

Why does Kenren sound so unnatural? Why doesn't it feel like my name when it has been my name for centuries? I look around. Why does heaven seem even more lifeless than before? As we pass a mirror, I glance at my reflection. I stare at my own blue eyes in surprise. Why was I expecting to see red?

"You were saying something about reading books," the goddess interrupts my thoughts.

Books? Oh yeah. I was thinking about Tenpou and his books. "I was thinking that maybe if I had a speck of Tenpou's interest in books then maybe I would be as interested in the world below as he is."

"Maybe you don't need books to be interested, Kenren."

And with that, the Goddess of Mercy left me. As I watch her leave, I become aware that she has led me to Tenpou's apartment. "Aw, what the heck?" I decide to pay my supervisor a visit.


	3. Chapter Two

_I guess, this is where things get confusing. The first part isn't that good, in my opinion. I can't, for the life of me, write a decent dialogue. Sorry if the scene changes are a bit confusing. They're basically just changing from Kenren's life to Gojyo's life. And just to be clear, "You" is Hakkai. Sorry, I am absolutely awful at transitions._

_- Paris_

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Two**_

"I'm sorry, sir, but the marshal isn't here," a servant informs me after catching me wandering around the halls. Some people are just not born to lie.

I turn to leave, "So he's in his office?"

"Ah...no..." the servant hesitates, obviously at a loss. "He's...here, but not with us."

I become somewhat impatient. "What are you talking about?"

The servant lowers her voice to an almost whisper. "You see, sir, the marshal has been asleep for quite some time now."

"Asleep?" I find myself feeling skeptical. The servant had changed her story one too many times. "Don't lie to me, where is Tenpou?"

The servant looks unbelievably uncomfortable, "In his chambers."

I raise an eyebrow and head for Tenpou's bedroom. The servant chases after me, "Sir! Please, Kanzeon Bosatsu will punish me if she finds out somebody disturbed the marshal's body!"

Body? I slow down and let the servant catch up to me as I reach Tenpou's bedroom door, "If she punishes you, then what kind of Goddess of Mercy would she be?" I find my own words funny. Yeah, what kind of Goddess of Mercy was she?

_**I push open Tenpou's door.**_

You're asleep. How many times have I come home to your sleeping form? If I wanted to, I could count how many times exactly. I've barely left your side since I found you half dead on the path home. You have unbelievably pale skin for a man and your hair is such a rich shade of brown. If I hadn't seen your body for myself, I could easily have mistaken you for a beautiful girl.

I pick up your hand and feel for a pulse. Just making sure you're alive. You breathe so quietly it freaks me out.

I worry that you won't wake up. Do you know why I am so concerned? Do you know why I sit by your side day and night waiting? Let me tell you why...

_**...It's because I want to see you open those beautiful green eyes.**_

"He's been lying like that for centuries, now, ever since that incident," the servant explains in hushed tones.

Incident? So what exactly was the story that Li Touten spread after he had us arrested? It began to bother me that I couldn't remember exactly what my version of the story should be. "He's asleep, huh?"

A sad shake of her head, "Not quite, sir. I personally think he's dead, but Kanzeon Bosatsu said 'Wouldn't it be interesting if he woke up?'"

Yeah, wouldn't it be interesting? "So what happened to him?"

"Don't you know, sir? Weren't you here?" the servant is incredulous.

Of course, that "incident" should have been the biggest news here in heaven. "I've been on a mission in the world below for a while. I had no news about heaven. Tenpou Gensui was a close friend." I'm lying through my teeth, but for some reason, the words feel true. And to someone knowledgeable, my lie would have made no sense. The events surrounding the "incident" would have had all missions recalled, regardless of importance or purpose.

But then, a lie like that is enough to convince a servant girl.

"News from the palace of the Emperor said that the marshal became paranoid from reading all of his books and went crazy. They said that during a mission down below, Tenpou Gensui attacked a band of youkai without thinking and was killed," she spoke as if she was just relaying a story she didn't believe. And who are they kidding? The best strategist in heaven wouldn't be so stupid and even if he were, he would still be far too strong and skilled to be killed by a few youkai. And as for going crazy... well, Tenpou has always been crazy, probably has nothing to do with his books.

Maybe his mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby.

Only now do I walk closer to the bed. The servant girl doesn't try to stop me. She knows I am a friend. "And, what do you think happened?"

"I don't know..." I'm sure she believes something else. The palace news is rarely true. It's usually propaganda and on some level, she must know this.

"So you don't believe the palace stories?" I inquire.

She suddenly becomes afraid. "No! I believe them!" she lowers her eyes. "It's just that Kanzeon Bosatsu said something when she dropped off the marshal's body."

"What was it?" I keep my focus on the girl.

"**_If there was one who tried to free the others to lead them up to the light, if they caught him, they would put him to death..."_**

"Come again?" I think you gave me a headache just by reading a passage from your book.

"If any one tried to loose another and lead him up to the light, let them only catch the offender, and they would put him to death. It's from a western philosopher," you tell me with a patient smile. "It means that if a person tried to tell people the truth and the truth was different from what people believed to be true, they would silence him." 1

"Then people are stupid," I lie back on the bed that we often share at night. "Why wouldn't they believe the truth?"

You put your book down and I can feel you watching my every move. "It's because truth can hurt or be unnerving sometimes."

Yeah, we, of all people, should know that. I stare up at the ceiling, "But sometimes the truth is wonderful."

"Well then, it's a risk you have to take," you stand up from your chair. "It's getting late. I really should start preparing dinner."

It's my turn to watch you. I devour each move you make as I would the meal you prepare for me. So telling the truth is a risk...

"What would you risk to tell the truth?"

You laugh lightly, "My, my, you've taken an interest in this, haven't you?"

"You didn't answer my question," I press on.

You put down the knife you're using to cut the vegetables for dinner and sit down beside me on the bed. "Well..." you begin, looking really pensive.

I prop myself up on one arm so I can hear and see you better. "What?" I hate it when you keep me in suspense like this.

You scratch the back of your neck and smile at me sheepishly. "I really don't know," you reply with a hint of laughter in your voice.

If I didn't value your company so much, I would kill you.

Your face then becomes serious, "Rather, I don't know what I could risk, because I don't really know what is mine to risk." You meet my eyes. "I think the better question to ask is 'what wouldn't you risk for the truth?'"

I hadn't thought about it that way. Then again, you often think of things that I don't really think about. I resume my study of the ceiling.

"What wouldn't you risk for the truth?" you ask me as you return to the chore of making dinner.

I absent-mindedly reach into my pocket and take out a cigarette and my lighter. I think better when I'm smoking. "I don't know, either."

"That's not fair," you chuckle good-naturedly.

_**So what wouldn't I give up for the truth? You.**_

I look down at Tenpou Gensui, my marshal and my best friend in the whole heaven, asleep on the bed. "Kanzeon Bosatsu said that, did she?" I murmur maybe incoherently.

"Uh...sir, would you like me to leave?" the servant asks me softly. I must have been staring too long. But at least she can take a hint.

I smile the same lopsided grin that had gotten me into trouble so many times before, "I don't believe you ever told me your name."

"Reina," she replies, suddenly blushing and shy. I tend to do that to girls.

"Well, Reina," I walk over to her and look down at her cute face. Heaven has no ugly girls, I think to myself before leaning over as if to kiss. "The marshal and I have a few private matters to discuss, but I would really like to see you again."

She trembles slightly, "Yes, sir."

I give a small wave as she slipped out of the room all blushing and stifling giggles. Before she even closed the door completely, I was back at Tenpou's side. "So that so-called Goddess of Mercy helped you out, huh? Maybe she isn't so bad after all."

I sit on the bed space beside Tenpou's sleeping form. "If any one tried to loose another and lead him up to the light, let them only catch the offender, and they would put him to death," I quote from one of Tenpou's books. Rather, I quote Tenpou as he read from one of his many books from down below. "I don't forget everything you tell me, Tenpou."

He doesn't answer. Why should he? Why should my presence make any difference? He's been like this for years, according to Reina. Centuries, actually, so why would my visit suddenly wake him? A hollow ache in my chest I had been hoping that my visit would make a difference. Heaven just wasn't heaven without Tenpou.

"You tried to show them the light, didn't you? And they put you to death," I brush away some of the hair that had fallen over his eyes. "But you aren't really dead, are you?"

No, he isn't. I answer my own question with the answer I wish to be true. I examine Tenpou's sleeping face. He doesn't really need beauty sleep as he is much less centuries of beauty sleep. Centuries... Something about all this is bothering me...

Wait... the last time I saw Tenpou awake was before the incident, and the last thing I remember before I woke up was just that and...

"Has it just occurred to you, Kenren Taisho, what is going on?" Kanzeon Bosatsu whispers in my ear, catching me completely off guard and sending me toppling down onto the floor in surprise. How in the hell can a woman be so vulgar and loud and still be capable of sneaking up on me like that! Then again, she is a goddess... but still!

I finally found my voice, but all I could say was, "What?"

The Goddess of Mercy, naturally, took my place on Tenpou's bed. "And if it took you this long to figure out that, like Tenpou Gensui here, you've been asleep for centuries, then you really don't deserve to be general."

"It's not exactly something that's easy to grasp," I grumble as I pick myself up. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Would you have believed me? Konzen wouldn't."

Good point. "So what did happen?"

"Do you really need me to tell you that, Kenren?" Kanzeon Bosatsu looks me squarely in the eye.

_**I lose myself in the eternity of her gaze and find myself five hundred years back. **_

I watch in horror as Tenpou is lashed in front of my eyes by some faceless soldier. He does not cry out, but I hear him grunting and see him biting and drawing blood from his lip. There is determination in his eyes, determination that grows with every strike.

The lashing stops for a moment and Li Touten bends over Tenpou and tips up my marshal's face, "You'd be perfectly useful if you didn't think too much for the other side."

Tenpou laughs sardonically, "I just think for myself, sorry if you don't find that useful."

"No," Li Touten slaps Tenpou's face with enough force to send my best friend falling to the cold stone floor. "I don't."

"Tenpou!" I call to him in alarm.

Li Touten grins at me. "Don't worry. Your lover won't suffer much longer. You both will die tomorrow morning."

The one who had been whipping Tenpou and Li Touten leave our cell. I want to crawl over to Tenpou, but I am chained to a wall. The best I can do is call out to him again. Let my voice reach him. "How are you holding up?"

"I've felt better." Tenpou chuckles at some joke I had yet to hear, "But pretty good for someone who's about to die."

"How can you laugh at a time like this?" I growl at him. "Shit, what have they done to you?"

He doesn't answer me, but characteristically asks me his own question: "Do you really care so much, Kenren?"

The hell I don't! I practically feel every single fucking stroke they lay on you. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't say anything when Li Touten called me 'your lover'," Tenpou informs me matter-of-factly and seemingly amused...despite his condition.

"Why should I?" I ask more myself than him.

_**He looks at me solemnly with beautiful green eyes.**_

I sit on the floor like a little kid.

I remember how we had been brought down to the world below on some bogus mission. There they tortured Tenpou so he would 'change his mind'. Change his mind about what? I don't know. I bet the torture was more for Li Touten's pleasure than anything else. Tenpou had been gunned down. I was killed right after.

At some point, I could see that Tenpou knew that it was a trap even before we left for the earth. He had ordered me to stay behind. But it made no sense to me that Tenpou would leave his most trusted ally out of a mission so we had a fight, him not really explaining why he wanted me excluded. He won the fight, but I'm a stubborn ass and I followed them. When I saw them torturing my best friend, I tried to stop them, but it wasn't to be and I was captured.

I remember everything, and despite all the revelations, I felt even more lost.

"So how did we survive?" I fix my eyes at Kanzeon Bosatsu who had been patiently waiting for me to come to my senses.

The Goddess of Mercy uncrossed her legs then crossed them the other way. "You didn't."

This isn't making sense. "So why am I alive right now?"

"Because you'd been reborn."

_1 From Plato's "The Republic". It's part of the Allegory of the Cave_


	4. Chapter Three

_Well, I changed Chapter Two so the lines between scene changes are italicized. The formatting was different in the preview... (sighs) Please be warned that there's a sort of spoiler about Gojyo and Hakkai's past. I wrote solely from memory, so the scene might conflict with the episode._

_To tigermink and everyone else who found the scene transitions confusing, I apologize. I hope the new formatting will help. MikaSamu, I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Three**_

I could feel a question mark drawn on my face as Kanzeon Bosatsu tried to explain what had happened to me five hundred years ago.

"When a soul believes its body is dead, it has to be reborn. When you were executed, you believed you were dead and so you were reborn in another body," somehow, this whole thing still entertains her and I could see it clearly on her face.

"And how did I get back here?"

"Your other body died," she replies as if it were the simplest logic in heaven.

I picked myself up from the floor so that I could talk eye to eye with the goddess. "But this body died. How could I go back to this body?"

"I had some influence in that."

"Why?"

"Heaven is just too boring without you guys here."

I groan. "So we're entertainment now."

She just smiles at me as if it were the most obvious thing in heaven.

I roll my eyes and they happen to land on Tenpou's sleeping form. "So why hasn't Tenpou woken up yet?"

"It's either one of two things," Kanzeon Bosatsu strokes Tenpou's hair lovingly and I could only do so much not to swat her hand away. It just got on my nerves for some reason. She laughs at my reaction. "Maybe his other body is still alive or he went to another body."

"Would you like to look for him, Kenren?"

And do what? Kill him so Tenpou can wake up? That makes a lot of sense. "I don't see why I have to," I look at Tenpou and wonder how the next few years would be without him. Well, I survived the few centuries before I met him, why should a few more years make a difference?

Kanzeon Bosatsu taps her chin thoughtfully, "If his soul is lost, then Tenpou Gensui might never wake up."

"And why would that concern you?" I raise an eyebrow, though the thought of Tenpou never waking up just made the thought of living an eternity unbearable.

"_**The right question is: why would that concern you, Kenren?"**_

They told me you were dead. At first, I couldn't believe it. You weren't the type who would die so easily. Then, I remember the tragedy that graced every single aspect of your being. Even your laughter was full of sadness. Then again, why in the world should your fate bother me? You weren't with me long enough for me to care, right? Why should I be concerned about you? You were alive to do just one more thing and when you finished it, you left me.

You left me...

I find that funny. It sounds like something one of my past lovers would tell me after a few nights together. Now, isn't it ironic that I am the one accusing you of leaving me like a thoughtless lover?

You...

...who I know to be the most devoted of lovers.

...whose life revolves around another.

...whom I invested a few weeks of and my whole life on.

Shit. I couldn't sound more pathetic if I'd tried.

But then, it isn't every day I find someone who understands me the way you do. It isn't easy for most people, and even more difficult for someone fate decided to throw shit at. I learned a lot when I was with you, the most compelling lesson being that blood is not the only red thing in the world.

I remember that lesson as I wander through the marketplace of the town we once lived in together. It feels like the distant past, but the last time we were in this town together is a few short weeks back. Some red apples catch my eye.

Without thinking, I pick one up, wondering if it would feel anything like my hair... or maybe like the blood I washed off your body. No, of course they don't. I feel like laughing, but memories of you stop me.

And then, you're right there beside me. You're smiling at me. You're buying apples. The same apples I'm buying. I look at you in disbelief. But I am more surprised by the relief I feel at the sight of you.

_**I'd hate to admit it, but I missed you.**_

"If you want me to go down and look for him for you, you should just tell me," I snap. I don't like games when I'm the one being played with.

Kanzeon Bosatsu's eyebrow rises in amusement irking me even more. "Oh? You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

I don't really like it when other people are right about me so I end up pouting.

"Stop sulking, Kenren," this is Konzen coming into the room from behind me. "You're going down to find out where Tenpou is and that's final?"

I glare at Konzen. It's no secret in heaven that I don't like the guy, and I am in a crappy mood from being thrust with so many memories of torture and death, so I make no effort to be nice to him. "And why the hell should I follow your orders?" I challenge Konzen.

Konzen hands me some papers, which I know I won't bother to read. "The Emperor wants his best strategist back."

What the fuck is this? "Why me?" I ask. Not that I don't want to go look for Tenpou, but it's the way that idiotic blonde ordered me around. He isn't the boss of me!

For some reason, I instinctively ducked, trying to avoid a fan that never came.

Kanzeon Bosatsu snickered in the background, while Konzen ignored my actions and proceeded to answer my question, "Because you're his general and you know him best."

No shit. "But you're his childhood friend. You should know him better. Why me?" I ask again.

Konzen becomes irate. For someone who has the whole of eternity to live and pass by, Konzen can be so short-tempered. "Because you're the one from the army."

"Then, why not send someone else?" I ask, pretty much just to annoy him a bit more.

"Because you're the one in the army who knows him enough to be able to pick him out from..." Konzen pulls out a small device from his pocket. "...Three billion, five hundred and forty three million, seven hundred and fifty eight thousand, nine hundred and two people."

Ting!

"Oh, make that nine hundred and six," Konzen corrects himself, then smiles at me almost sweetly. "And counting," he added.

I get it, the world's population is growing and I have to go find Tenpou's soul among them. It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Damn cliché. "All right! I'm going!" I throw my hands up in defeat and walk out of the room. "If you need me, I'll be packing my things."

"Just look into their eyes," Konzen reminds me before I get myself out of the room.

I pause and give him a questioning look. "Hm?"

Konzen sighs. "There's an old saying in the world below: 'The eyes are the window to the soul'. If you want to find Tenpou, find the person whose eyes are like his," he explains with little attempt at sounding patient.

Eyes are the window to the soul, huh? I've heard that before. I wave my hand dismissively at Konzen and continue my path to the door, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Why don't you try to be more honest?" Kanzeon Bosatsu challenges me.

I shrug, "I'm perfectly honest."

I know I sound unwilling, but truth be told, I'm not. I would never admit it to Kanzeon Bosatsu, though, but the idea of finding Tenpou is more than a bit enticing to me...

... It's important. I want to find Tenpou.

No. I need to find Tenpou.


	5. Chapter Four

_I think I'm subconsciously trying to keep the story under ten chapters since school has started and, well, Physics and fanfics don't mix if you're not a genius. When summer comes around, I'll try to rewrite. Still, I hope you enjoy._

_Thanks to HarryPottergrl19 and Ondesxavier for your encouragement. Your kind words made my day. Thank you very much._

_To ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, I apologize for the confusion. I hope, since the people in this chapter have been named (Kenren finally remembers their names!) it would be less confusing._

_To all those who continuously read this fic, thank you for taking the time._

_- Paris_

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Four**_

Somehow, the reddish pre-stormy night sky of the mortal world is appealing to me. I am lying on a grassy field and have spent the past few hours watching the changing of the sky while enjoying my favorite brand of cigarettes. I stare at the heavy clouds that spoke of the oncoming rain.

I can almost remember something.

Something I am pretty sure I did not live, but for some reason dwells in my memory. I've been remembering a lot of those lately: memories that are not mine. Like dreams, they invade my mind without being summoned, but unlike dreams they visit me when I am awake.

I stretch out lazily.

The memories don't bother me. They are part of the life I lived as I slept in heaven. They're mine and yet someone else's. They're the memories of my reincarnation on earth. I don't know what will trigger my unlived memories, but I have come to accept and expect them.

The only question that I have is who is the strange man I live my memories with? Like Tenpou, he has green eyes, but one of his eyes is dulled by blindness. Also, like Tenpou, the man means very much to me.

I take a long drag from my cigarette.

Konzen did say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and that man's eyes, although more somber and masking so much pain are very much like Tenpou's. Could that man be Tenpou in our earthly life? There's really no way to know other than to look for him. I've got to start somewhere and he's my only lead. If he's still alive, then I have to figure out where he is. But how the hell do I do that?

I could find out how I lived my life here on earth...

But I don't even know what my name was.

_**And like a cursed blessing the rain fell.**_

Whenever rain falls, I am torn. I hate seeing you depressed like this, staring out of the window, reflecting on the shadows of the past. On the other hand, this is the time when you are most honest with yourself and the reality of your pain is something I like to see. I like seeing the real you and I hate seeing you in pain, but the real you is always in pain.

Am I making any sense?

You're staring at your hands again watching the blood that isn't there drip down to the floor. You look so lost and alone sitting on the bed by the window, though I am here on the other bed watching you. I want to go to you and hold those hands and show you that not everything you touch gets stained with blood. I just can't stand seeing you like this, but at the same time, the honesty of your emotions mesmerizes me.

"Oi," I call out to you softly. "Hakkai."

You ball your hands up into a fist, as if hiding the blood I cannot see from me. "Ha...hai?" you reply tentatively. I know that like me you are torn. You want to forget your past and yet the truth of it, to you, is so compelling that you absolutely have to live it every chance you get.

I reach into my bag and pull out a deck of cards. "Do you want to play?"

You hesitate. You lower your eyes, debating on whether or not you should turn me down. "I'm sorry, but..."

I hang on to your words while my mind races on what to do next.

"... I'm really not in the mood right now."

I shrug, "That's fine." I put away the cards. At least I tried. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" I try again.

"It's not like you to ask," you reply. You didn't say you mind, though.

You're back to staring outside the window. I notice that your hands are palms up on your lap. In a short while your eyes are drawn to your hands like magnets. I wonder if you even know when you start staring at your bloodstained hands.

I take your hands into mine. "No matter how hard I look, I can't see what you find so interesting," I tell you half-jokingly.

You're surprised by my actions. "Gojyo?"

"What are you looking at? What do you see?" I finally voice out the questions that have long bothered me. I raise my hands up so you can see them. "Look at my hands. They're clean. I held your hands, but my hands are still clean."

"Ano..." you smile at me in a crooked way. You look wonderful when you smile...

... Especially when the smile is real.

"...you have a lot of dust on your hands."

What? You laugh. It isn't hearty laughter, but at least you're laughing. I frown at you. "Don't change the topic, Hakkai."

"I'm sorry," you idly brush away some of the hair that has fallen over your eyes. I realize just how beautiful you look. How...perfect.

"It wasn't your fault, Hakkai," I tell you as I have told you before so many times. I don't know why, but I want to keep on saying your name. Like saying it over and over will bring you close to me and far away from that past you wish to but can't leave.

You nod as you have done so before so many times. "It was her choice, I know. But I can't help but think about what could have happened if I'd gotten there sooner."

I don't know. What would have happened if my brother had not gotten there soon enough.

"Ne, Gojyo," I am at once drawn by the question in your voice. "Have you ever wondered about the demons you've killed? What lives they led or what family they're leaving behind?"

"I blame the Minus Wave," I answer nonchalantly as I reach into my pocket and pull out a cigarette.

As I search my pockets for my lighter, you watch me with interest. I kind of like being the center of your attention. At least you're not drowning yourself in the rain with those memories of yours. Aw... damn. Where's that stupid lighter? Oh yeah, that corrupt monk helped himself to it when he found out his was out of gas. Shit.

I hear a scratching sound and then a red light catches my eye.

"Let me," you hold a lit match out to me. "Sanzo has your lighter, remember?"

"Yeah," I manage to grunt out through teeth holding onto my cigarette. I lean into the flame and light my smoke.

With a flick of the wrist, you extinguish the flame. "Thank you, Gojyo. I feel better now," in the moonlit night, your face is absolutely serene.

Moonlight? That means...

"Hey, Hakkai."

"Hm?"

"_**The rain has stopped."**_

There you go. I run my fingers through my rain-soaked hair. "Gojyo, Hakkai, and a high ranking monk," that's everything I need. If I find out what these guys did in their lives, then maybe I could find out where Hakkai... or Tenpou is.

I stand up and brush the rain off my uniform. Sometimes fate does work with me. Now, all I have to do is find the temple of that Sanzo, since Gojyo and Hakkai seem to be obscure characters, and work my way from there.

This shouldn't be too difficult.


	6. Chapter Five

_Same as before, the bold and italicized lines are transitions between scenes. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Hope the story isn't dragging._

_narrizan-san, thank you for your concern. I hope it doesn't come to the point that my writing interferes with my studying, too. Don't worry,I promised myself I'd finish this fic before things get busy. _

_Marron-chan1, thank you for the review. I'm glad you find the plot interesting._

_To everyone who continues reading this story, thanks. To those who also read and reviewed "Radio", thank you, as well. At the risk of sounding pretentious or repetitive, I'd like to say that your kind words make me smile._

_- Paris_

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Five**_

"A Sanzo? Yes, a years ago one came this way with his companions," the waitress is still blushing lightly from the compliments I had earlier paid her. She is in her late twenties and really is not bad looking. I was sincere when I told her I wouldn't mind buying out the restaurant she worked at for the night if it meant that I could be with her even for a few hours.

But I was not flattering her as much as she thought I was. I'm a god. Money is no object to me. And there is no price too great to find a friend.

I would pay any price to find Tenpou.

The waitress is thoughtful. "I don't really remember how the Sanzo looked like. I was too young to be a waitress then and was on dishwashing duty," she tucks a strand of wavy black hair behind her ear. "But I do remember one of his companions. This brown haired man came into the kitchen and offered to help me with the dishes. We were severely understaffed then and the older staff members were exhausted from servicing them."

Oh...That would have been Hakkai. At least I know she really saw him. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Just that they were on a journey," she replies.

I know that much. I've been following the trail of Genjyo Sanzo and his troupe for six years and it took me a hell of a lot longer than that to find out which temple sent out Genjyo Sanzo. There is no news as to what happened to him and his companions.

Where was the Hag of Mercy through all this? Jiroushin had no idea the first fifty times I asked during the first few years of my quest and after a while, I stopped giving a shit.

I keep my composure. "Is that so?" I cock an eyebrow to appear intrigued. I hand the waitress the credit card Jiroushin had given me for this trip. "Well, you've been a lot of help, miss. But I really should be on my way."

She left me so she could settle my bill. I know she is disappointed that I am not spending the night, but I've already wasted enough time here. While she is away I review what information I have gathered.

Genjyo Sanzo went on a trip to stop the revival of Gyumaoh, the demon Nataku subdued a long time ago. With Sanzo were three companions: one Gojyo is my reincarnation; and one Hakkai I assume to be the reincarnated form of Tenpou; the third was Goku, the kid Konzen took care of in heaven. I know for a fact that Gojyo is dead, since I am back in my body. No one seems to know where Sanzo, Hakkai, and Goku are, but the fact that Goku is part of the company further convinces me that Hakkai is Tenpou's mortal form. Fate has a nasty way of twisting the life threads of people: gods, demons, and humans.

The moment I learned about their trip, I immediately went to the castle where Gyumaoh's revival was supposed to take place. Rumor has it that the revival was a success, but a mysterious group vanquished him. When I got to the castle, it was in ruins. There was no one there and no villages for miles around. There were a lot of skeletons scattered all over the place, but there was nothing too special about any of them. I couldn't even find the robe of the high ranking monk Genjyo Sanzo. When I found that the revival site was a dead end, I had decided to retrace the steps of the Sanzo-ikkou.

"Sir?" the waitress is back. "Here's your card, sir."

I give her my lady-killer smile as I stand up, "Thanks." I wave at her as I stroll out the restaurant, "I'll see you around."

"Where are you going, sir?" she pursued, searching for words that could make me stay even a little bit longer.

"Eastward," I answer simply as I near the door.

"But they were headed west, sir," the waitress calls out. "And they never came back."

I turn to her. "Is it possible that they passed another way?"

Of course, she wouldn't know. She's probably never even stepped out of this village. That's the way it is here in the mortal world. Most people are so content with their little cocoon villages that they never venture out; which is probably why Genjyo Sanzo's company was made up of characters with unhappy beginnings.

Unhappy beginnings...

In my almost twenty years of searching for Tenpou, I had regained most of my memories as Gojyo. I know about Cho Hakkai's painful past as Cho Gono, I am now aware of Genjyo Sanzo's losses as a young boy and how Goku came to be Genjyo Sanzo's ward. I even remember some of Sha Gojyo's experiences as a child.

Yeah, these people had unhappy beginnings. I'm not surprised that they had little qualms about leaving their homes.

"Maybe I can help you," a dark-haired man in his mid forties offers, diverting my thoughts. He has limiters, which means he's a demon, but I don't feel any malicious intent. He then names the price for his help, "But you have to tell me why you're so interested in the Sanzo-ikkou."

I scrutinize him for a moment. He looks familiar. "I'm looking for an old friend. The Sanzo-ikkou might know something about him." Not a lie. I don't like lying, but I can talk for ages and not really say anything. Of course, Tenpou is much better at that art than I am, he can make his empty words sound meaningful.

_**The man has a peculiar expression on his face. It is sad and searching. "I knew them once," he finally tells me.**_

We're now outside the restaurant, drinking. He looks like a man who had been haunted one too many times by bad memories. He doesn't even face me when he asks, "Why are you here?"

I take a sip of my sake, "Why do you ask?"

"You have a chakra, the symbol of the gods," he points out. I really should cover that up.

"So?" I refill his fast emptying cup. Damn, this sake is good.

He tips his cup a bit as a sign of gratitude, but doesn't find the strength to smile. "If you're after the Heaven and Earth opening sutras, I already destroyed them."

The graveness of his character really should bother me, but for some reason I feel as though I'm supposed to be comfortable with him. Funny thing is I actually am.

I lie back on the ground. "Sorry to disappoint you, but you can't destroy those sutras. " I tell him. I dig into my pocket for a smoke. "It doesn't matter anyway, since I'm not after them. I really am just looking for a friend." Damn tight pants may be good for catching girls' attentions, but they're no fucking good for keeping cigarettes. I finally produce a stick, but it's squashed. "Crap." I usually place my cigs in my coat, what possessed me to put them in my pants pocket this time?

"Here," the dark-haired stranger hands me a good stick. I notice that it's my favorite brand.

"Thanks," I take out my lighter and light my cigarette. "You don't strike me as the smoking type."

"I don't." He watches me with interest, "This was my brother's favorite brand."

"Was?" I take a few test puffs. It's good. "Did he quit?"

"He's dead."

Dead? Now, how do you respond to that? I mean, I'm a god, death is alien to me. I take a long drag as I search for words and, at the risk of sounding like an idiot; I say the first thing that comes to mind. "Kenren."

"What?" he looks confused.

I sit back up so we're eye to eye. I'd extend my hand out in a friendly handshake, but that really isn't my thing, so I settle for terse but relatively polite introductions. "My name is Kenren. I figured if we're going to talk any more than we already have, we should at least know each other's name."

He nods in understanding, a smile on his lips. "I am Sha Jien."

_**Aniki?**_

Where are you, Aniki? It hurts.

I hit the floor with a dull thud. "I'm sorry, mother," I manage to choke out without sobbing. She's crying again. I hate seeing her cry, because I always know she's crying because of me. She picks up a broom and starts swatting me with it as if I were a rat or mouse or...

...A cockroach.

She's looking at me as if I were a cockroach: small, insignificant, a pest with no purpose on this world other than to annoy and bring sickness. My eyes widen. She's now seeing blood. My hair, my eyes, the blood of my dead birth mother...

"Such beautiful hair, Gojyo," she sings as she bends over me, long knifelike nails drawn. "I wonder if your blood is the same color." She picks up my hand by the wrist and stares at it almost lustily.

Aniki, it hurts.

She slices through the skin of my wrist with her nails. "Such beautiful blood, Gojyo! Show me more!" she laughs.

She's laughing now, but tears still run down her face. Well, at least she's laughing. I want her to smile because of me, and now she's laughing. I got what I wanted and now, I want to keep it that way. I feel the blood drain from my face and my vision becomes blurry. Mother becomes mesmerized by the blood seeping out of my torn flesh.

"Things would be better if you never came, Gojyo," she says my name with such spite. "So just die."

I see her walk away.

It's strange. My body feels cold, but my shirt is warm with my own blood. I hear mother busying herself with housework. Later, she will throw me out like the cockroach that I am.

This is the way things should be, right?

The door opens.

"Gojyo!" I hear Aniki throws away his work gear and runs to my side. "Hold on, Gojyo!"

"Aniki, is that you?" I try to smile at him, but I can't find him. "I finally made mother smile. She even laughed!" I murmur.

I feel pressure on my torn wrist, but I'm too dizzy to figure out what it is.

"_**Don't worry. It's going to be alright."**_

Jien is talking. The onslaught of memories die away and I take another sip of sake to extinguish it completely. "Are you telling me it'll be all right, or are you telling yourself?" I ask him.

He grins, but somehow the melancholy in his eyes deepens. "I think I'm telling myself."

"Your brother," I venture. "He was Sha Gojyo, wasn't he?"

"Aa," Jien replies affirmatively, fingering his limiter absent-mindedly. "You? Why are you looking for the Sanzo-ikkou?"

I had neglected Jien's cigarette and it's burned more than halfway. I tap the burnt portion off and take a long drag, finishing the stick completely. I blow out slowly, relishing the taste of the smoke and the relaxing sensation it gives me. "I told you. I'm looking for a friend and they might know where to find him."

"Well, I guess you're out of luck," Jien stretches out lazily. He stares at the dark infinity ahead of us and I see the prayer in his eyes that asks that he be wrong. "I told you. Gojyo is dead. So is the rest of the Sanzo-ikkou."

Now, isn't that convenient?

With Jien's revelation that all of the Sanzo-ikkou was dead, Hakkai included, I am sent back to square one. I'll be spending the rest of eternity looking for a pair of beautiful green eyes. It's not like I can send out a memo to the world asking every person with green eyes to line up in front of me so I can stare into them. And even if they did, what guarantee do I have that Tenpou's new body would have green eyes?

"How did they die?" I am rather curious. I really don't remember.

Jien sighs; this whole encounter is exhausting to him. "Fighting," he answers simply. He stares at his cup of sake, which is almost empty. This guy gives a whole new meaning to the words 'searching for answers at the bottom of the bottle'. After a while, he continues, "I never really saw them die, but I saw the building they were in collapse on them. I had to get my... boss out of there and..."

He is confused.

"...no one could have survived that," I finish for him.

He is in pain, but he nods. "It was a battle no one was going to win."

No shit.

"Jien!" we turn when a woman screams out Jien's name. "Demons aren't allowed here!"

"Oops, looks like I've worn out my welcome," Jien stands up and brushes off his clothes. He turns to me. "You're a god, right? Look down at me from heaven every once in a while."

I sense a lot of people hiding in the darkness. They're ready to attack Jien. "Oi," I call out a warning.

Both of us are unarmed. Jien frowns, realizing our predicament. Judging by his movements, he just wants to run and hurt as little people as possible. He scratches his head sheepishly. "I used to be the one bailing my brother out of messes like this," he points out the irony.

Well, let's see if I can bail you out of this one.

I search for a suitable exit. Then, I feel someone behind me. I turn to find myself lost in a pair of green eyes. A small bag made of what seemed loosely woven cloth filled with powder and small pebbles is pressed into my hand. "Throw this to the ground and run," a female voice hisses to me. "Then take Jien-san to the cave at the northern outskirts of the city."

"Oi, wait...!" I try to go after the girl, but the pair of green eyes is gone. She melted back into the shadows unseen by anyone, but me.

I hear a cry from the people: an agreement that matters should be taken into their hands. I run to Jien's side just as the people close in around him. "Let's go, Jien!" I shout over the angry mob then I throw the bag to the ground. It explodes and a cloud of smoke envelops us.

Jien laughs as he runs to safety, pulling me along. "I see you've met Karin."


	7. Chapter Six

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Six**_

Jien and I finally reach the place Karin had told us to go to. Obviously, Jien had been in this predicament before and it looks like Karin had helped him out more than once. Outside the cave described earlier waited a pretty girl with long wavy hair. Under the moonlight, her hair is almost black, but in the light of the sun, I bet it's a different color. I could give a more detailed description of her if I tried, but I find myself staring at her almost luminous green eyes. Green eyes are uncommon enough in this part of the world, much more the type that looked so...

...so much like Tenpou's.

"What took you this time?" Karin looks impatient. She then smiles warmly at Jien, relieved that both of us are safe. "I told you to stay out of the town even with your limiters on. They know who you are, Jien-san."

"Sorry, Karin-chan," Jien scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "I just needed a good drink."

Karin is unsatisfied. "That's what you always say." She turns to me with curiosity in her expression. "And who might you be, sir?"

"That's Kenren. I just met him tonight," Jien explains.

Karin nods thoughtfully. "Anyway, father is waiting for us. He's already prepared dinner," she digresses as she walks off.

Jien invites me with a smile and I follow wordlessly.

I've been looking for Tenpou for almost twenty years and he could have died and have been reincarnated anytime within those twenty years. I examine Karin. She's about fifteen, seventeen or eighteen at the oldest. Could she be Tenpou's reincarnation?

"This is it," I hear Karin say. I return to reality realizing that the cave we had met in was nowhere to be found. We must have walked quite a way for that to be the case.

I examine the house in front of us: a rundown house, which was considerable in size despite its state. I briefly wonder about how safe living in it is. It looks like it's about to collapse. "This is where you live," I state more than ask.

Karin does not answer me. It looks like she didn't hear me. "After being seen with Jien-san, no inn will take you. I'm inviting you to stay with father and myself," she informs me matter-of-factly.

"I won't be staying tonight, Karin," Jien pipes up. "Yaone is waiting for me. I'll just pick up the medicine from Father and go."

Ah, yes, Yaone, the pretty pharmacist. Man, I'd like to see her again. But then, she should be about Jien's age by now. I wonder if her breasts have sagged...

Karin nods in understanding and leads the way into the house, though I had not shown any approval for the new arrangement. "Father's a healer, but he's blind. He's good at his job, though, and many people come to him for help. And he refuses no one." The last sentence is said in a much softer tone.

I set aside my analysis of Yaone's breasts and take in Karin's words. No one, huh?

She continues her statement, her voice laced with a small amount of bitterness, "Not even youkai."

Jien gives Karin an apologetic look. "Many human families in the village have been massacred over the past years since the Minus Wave, so humans have become wary of youkai," he tells me. I can almost hear Jien's unspoken words: "Even Karin."

"Sorry, Jien-san, I didn't mean you," my new hostess caught herself as she turned the door knob into the house.

Jien ruffles Karin's hair affectionately. "Nah, that's all right."

A sweet smile, and then she pushes the door open for the three of us. She calls out into the darkness, "Father, I'm back. I brought Jien-san and a guest with me."

As we enter, I don't see any movement inside the house. I don't even feel any life. Maybe Karin's father isn't home.

Tap. Tap.

A cane? I squint to see better and I see a slight figure approaching us very slowly. Only then did I feel a very faint life force.

Maybe Karin's father is dying.

"It's so nice to hear from you again, Sha-kun," a very gentle voice that does not match the old shell stepping forward greets Jien. As he nears the light, I see that Karin's father is, indeed, an old man. Long silvery hair fell limply down to his shoulders hiding his ears, which I seriously doubt to have limiters. His blind eyes were covered by a white blindfold. He easily senses my presence and smiles warmly in my direction.

There is something comforting about his smile.

"Welcome to our home. I apologize for the mess, I wasn't expecting company," he greets me.

Though he couldn't see, I return his smile. Karin introduces me, "Father, this is Kenren."

His expression doesn't change. "It's a pleasure to have your company, Kenren-san"

"Just call me Kenren," I insist. 'Kenren-san' just makes me feel old, and it sounds... weird.

The old man chuckles, "Then, please call me Father," tenderness passes over his aged features. "Everyone else does." He faces Jien. "Ah, the medicine for Yaone-san is inside. It's rather late so I just packed your dinner for you."

Jien is a bit flushed, a bit embarrassed by Father's kindness, though I doubt that it was an unusual occurrence. "You didn't have to, Father."

"But I insist," Father signals for us to come in. "Now, let's all go to the dining room. Karin, please turn on the lights and wash up for dinner."

As Karin runs off to obey, Jien and I follow Father into the dining hall. Lights on I see that the dining hall is a handsome room filled with opulent furniture degraded by neglect and age. However, despite their shabby state, I see that they had been lovingly salvaged and carefully tended to by someone I assume to be Father.

Father taps on the chairs, counting them as he passes. He walks around with ease, obviously comfortable with the place despite his blindness. He reaches the head of the table. "Kenren, please sit here. You are our guest of honor," he invites me.

Such a nice old man.

"Jien-kun, please sit here for a moment while I get your food and the medicine," Father pats the seat to the right of the head. "And, if you don't mind, could you please entertain Kenren for a while," he adds as an afterthought.

Father disappears into an adjoining room.

Jien and I take our designated seats and are silent for a few moments and my mind wanders off. Again, I wonder if Yaone is as hot as she was before. Then again, older women are better since they have more experience and they aren't as giggly as young girls. But younger girls are so sweet...

Jien breaks the silence. "He's really something, isn't he?"

And then, I'm back in Father's dining room. Something about this place makes me relaxed enough to let down my guard a bit and entertain my perversions. It just feels so homey. I grin at Jien, "He's an interesting person."

"I've never seen anyone so selfless," Jien runs a hand through his hair, which I notice is already speckled with white. Well, must have led a very stressful life to get white hair at such an early age. "He's helped Yaone and me so much."

Stressful... Ha! I stifle a laugh.

Stressful is a kind way of describing our lives back then.

I raise an inquisitive eyebrow. "Your wife?" Well, that's not unlikely since they were practically Kougaji and Ririn's parents.

Jien shakes his head. "We're both devoted to another."

Yeah, Kougaiji, I know. But then, when Jien served Kougaiji he was called Dokugakuji. I wonder what happened. I let my curiosity get the better of me this time, "Who?"

"A tortured prince," Jien's tone is distant, as if he wanted to detach himself and believe that his memories were just part of some fairy tale. He must be talking about Kougaiji. "And consequently, to a lost princess." Must be Ririn.

I argue with myself on the pros and cons of pressing on.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Jien-kun, sorry it took so long," Father walks back in, two bags at hand.

I guess the questioning will have to continue sometime else.

Jien stands up and meets Father halfway. "Thanks," he digs into his pocket and takes out a small bag presumably filled with money. He presses his bag into Father's hand after taking his packages. "Here's my payment."

Father waves his now free hand in dismissal. "Oh, Jien-kun, you need that more than I do," he declines in low tones, a conscious effort to protect Jien's dignity by attempting to keep his refusal quiet. "I know how hard it is to get a job when you're a youkai in these parts."

Jien begins to protest, but Father cuts him off. "Besides, this is my gift to you and Yaone as thanks for befriending a decrepit old man like me."

That smile again.

Before Jien could insist anymore, Father raises his walking stick and turns to an entryway of the dining room. "Karin-chan," he acknowledges the presence of the girl.

I didn't even hear Karin come in. How did he sense her?

Well, he's blind. He's probably got better hearing than any of us.

I glance at Karin's direction. Blood-colored waves cascaded down to the young girl's waist. Beautiful green eyes watch me inquisitively as I find myself unnerved by yet another color on her body.

Jien places a hand on my shoulder. "Oi, it's not polite to stare."

"Ah, excuse me," I avert my eyes to Father who is grinning playfully. At least he doesn't mind me checking out Karin. I wouldn't want a blind old man killing me in my sleep for looking at his daughter. That would probably be the saddest way to go...

... Well, next to dying while getting flushed down a toilet or something.

"Oh, are you leaving, Jien-san?" Karin speaks up and I notice that Jien has stepped away from me and has begun collecting his things.

Jien waves. "Sorry, Karin, it's really late and Yaone needs me."

"I understand," Karin nods to stress her point. She smiles brightly at Jien, "You know your way out?"

Jien heads for the exit, "Of course."

"Just checking," Karin teased, waving goodbye.

Jien waves back, "See you folks." He looks at me, "Hope to see you again, Kenren."

I raise my hand in reply, "Aa."

"Take care, Jien-kun," Father, this time. If he hadn't said anything, I would have forgotten he was there. Just as Jien closed the door, he spoke again. "Well then, shall we have our dinner?"

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Please excuse my long note and sorry if I put it at the end. I figured people might be finding them tedious if I put them before the fic itself._

_ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, thank you for the kind review._

_kakashidiot, sorry, there really won't be much Konzen or Tenpou for a while, but I still hope you enjoy._

_Sora-kun, thank you for all those compliments. I personally believe they are hardly deserved but they are very encouraging and, dare I say, flattering. 58 fandom? I'm sorry to have to ask, but what is that? I know I should know, being a Saiyuki fic writer, but...sighs... alas, I don't. Please bear with my lack of awareness; I just joined this month. _

_ennui deMorte, thank you for the review, you have some very interesting ideas about the storyline, but let's just put it this way: things might not turn out the way you expect them to._

_Marron-chan1, I'm sorry about the sudden end in the last chapter. I didn't know where else to cut it. In case you're wondering, I'm in molecular dynamics nerd alert! Again, thank you for the review. And, yes, it is nice to know that there are other people in the world who are interested in science... Can somebody say Nii Jen Yi in the making?_

_narrizan-san, well, I hope you like where it is going._

_Thank you again, everyone for reading my fic. I hope you enjoyed._

_- Paris_


	8. Chapter Seven

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

**_Chapter Seven_**

"How's your search going, Kenren Taisho?"

I open my eyes to find myself face to face with Kanzeon Bosatsu in a room filled only with light. Of course, I know I never went back to heaven and am probably being visited by the not so merciful Goddess of Mercy in my dreams. I glare at her. "Where've you been? I've been looking for you!"

"Cranky in the morning, aren't you?" Kanzeon Bosatsu laughs. She wags a finger at me, "I just thought you might be needing some help since you were taking so long."

I cross my arms over my chest. Some women are just charming. Some are somewhat annoying, but in a rather cute way. Kanzeon Bosatsu is just annoying. "You should have thought of that ten years ago when I was getting nowhere."

"Oh? What's ten years to a god who has eternity?" she philosophizes.

It takes all my strength not to wring her neck. After all, even if I do try to strangle her to death, she won't die and I'd just earned myself a heap of trouble for trying to kill the Goddess of Mercy. But, shit, I bet that twisted hag will probably find that amusing as well!

"That's not the point," I snap.

She changes the topic smoothly, "The point is you're looking for Tenpou's soul. Have you found it yet?"

I shrug, "Maybe." I'm not trying to be vague for fun, Karin might really be Tenpou's reincarnation, but I've got no proof aside form her green eyes.

"Are you thinking about that girl?" Kanzeon Bosatsu muses over the idea. "You know, she looks like your lovechild with Tenpou."

Yeah, I mean, the red hair would match my former body's hair, and the eyes...

...Hey...

"What the hell are you talking about! Tenpou and I are both men!" Not that Tenpou's repulsive or anything, it's just that despite all the rumors in heaven, I never really thought that Tenpou and I could be lovers. Even if I do remember Gojyo holding Hakkai—whom I am now assuming to actually have been Tenpou's previous reincarnation—during long and lonely rainy nights, those memories only reiterate the fact that they're very close friends and not necessarily lovers.

Right?

She's laughing at me again. I can almost hear her say to me again: "Why don't you try to be more honest?" Damn, she just pisses me off so much!

The Goddess of Mercy pats me on the head as if I were a child, "Don't think too much."

I can think without hurting myself, thank you.

Before I can retort, she gives me a genuine smile. First time I've seen her smile without any amusement. "Do you know how to guide Tenpou's soul back to his body, now that you think you've found him?"

Oh yeah, there's that part, too. I forgot about that.

Kanzeon Bosatsu stares deeply into my eyes. "It's actually simple, but difficult at the same time," she tells me. "Just whisper his name 'Tenpou' into his ear before he dies, and then give him a good reason to return to his body."

The name part is easy enough, but how do I know if a reason is good?

I am not given the opportunity to ask. Kanzeon Bosatsu is gone and with her, the bright light that surrounded us just a moment ago. Darkness envelops me...

...And then, I hear the laugh of children.

They're calling out a name.

"_**Karin-oneesan!"**_

I open my eyes slowly, seeing that it would take some time for them to adjust to the light. I am in one of the many guest rooms in Karin's and Father's house. Like the dining room, this bedroom has a past of splendor, but is presently in poor shape. It is on the third floor of the big house. Karin mentioned last night that the second floor was for Father's patients and that I could stay in the house for as long as I want.

When I could fully open my eyes, I stand up and head for the window. There, I see Karin playing with a number of children. Handling kids, she looks like she's in her element. And why shouldn't she be? Tenpou was great with kids and Hakkai was a teacher, why should Karin be any different?

A soft knock on the door, "Kenren, are you up?"

I recognize Father's voice so I go and open the door for him. "Good morning," he greets me with the smile that just warms me. Karin is lucky to have such a nice father. "Did you sleep well?"

I remember my dream about Kanzeon Bosatsu. Well, not exactly...

"Yeah, I did," I step back to make way for him. "Come on in."

He politely declines, "I'm sorry, I have quite a number of patients to attend to. I just came up here to tell you that breakfast is set in the dining room in case you're hungry."

"Thank you," I really don't know what to say.

Father nods, satisfied, and then walks back to the stairs. I close the door to the guest room and follow him. He decides to make small talk. "You're not a youkai, are you?"

"No," I answer simply.

"Not a human, either," he continues. Now, how could he know that? "There are a lot of things blind men can see," he explains. I apparently don't need to confirm his suspicions. There is a short span of silence and he adds. "I've never healed a god before. I wonder if I can do it or if gods even have to be healed."

"We do," I answer his implied question. "We're immortal. But not invincible."

He still looks amiable. "We learn something new everyday, don't we?"

We finally reach the stairs and I am overwhelmed by the flurry of activity in the second floor. There are so many patients running about the house that I'm surprised the house doesn't fall apart from the sheer weight of this number. Everyone appears human, until I notice that a majority of them have limiters.

Father answers my unasked question this time as we proceed down the flight of stairs to the second floor. "I make limiters for youkai who have good intentions so that they could live normally among humans."

So maybe there is still kindness in this cold cruel world.

"Cruelty towards those who are different," Father does not look as sad as he is exhausted by the matters of the world around him. "That is how things work in this place. That is how Karin's parents died."

So Karin isn't Father's real daughter, either. And I guess that explains Karin's aversion for youkai.

We reach the first floor and Father walks me to the dining room where a simple breakfast of rice and soup are laid out for me. The soup is still hot telling me that Father had gone up to fetch me right after the meal was set.

"You'll have to excuse me now, Kenren," Father heads back up the stairs. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Karin's class should be just about done." He beams, "She teaches children basic reading and math."

How come I'm not surprised. I watch as Father returns to his patients, "She must be a wonderful teacher."

Hakkai was.

_**I allow myself to get lost in thought as I settle down for my meal. **_

"Taisho, you shouldn't stare at me like that," Tenpou reprimands me lightly as we eat at the officer's table in the West Army Dining Area. "You're just fueling the rumors that have begun to spread about us."

I resume my meal. "I wasn't staring at you," I retort matter-of-factly. Obsessing would be a more appropriate word. Damn. How can a fucking man be so fucking pretty?

Speaking of fucking...

Shit, what the hell am I thinking? Tenpou wouldn't be interested! And even if he was interested, he would still be my commanding officer. And even if he wasn't my commanding officer, he would still be a man! A pretty man, a beautiful man, but a MAN nonetheless!

Vibrant emeralds pierce into my soul with one look. "Then, what were you staring at, Kenren Taisho?"

Why is he saying my name in a sing-song voice? Is Tenpou Gensui flirting with me?

"Nothing in particular." Yes, a safe answer.

Of course, Tenpou knows me better than that. "See to it that it never happens again," his voice is all business. He's actually commanding me.

I know he's not just commanding me to stop staring at him.

He's commanding me to never let thoughts of us getting together cross my mind. Never. Ever.

Tenpou's normal grin returns. "And Taisho?"

"_**Your food's getting cold."**_

I blink. Karin is peering at me with a curious expression on her face. She is sitting beside me and is leaning on the table in such a way that her nose is only a few inches from mine. She's wearing glasses.

"What were you thinking about?" I hear her, but only half-heartedly. There is something else about her eyes that I find peculiar.

I take off her glasses and she lets me. I continue to stare into her eyes as I absent-mindedly place her spectacles on the table.

After a few minutes, she becomes restless. "Ne. Kenren-san, what is it?" she asks, blushing furiously. She turns away from me, unable to take the intensity of my gaze.

I come to. "Sorry, it's your eyes..."

She laughs, relieved. "Oh, and here I thought you were hitting on me," she tries to make what she obviously thought was true a joke to ease her mood. She slips on her glasses. "It's not every day that someone notices that one of my eyes are blind."

So that's it.

"I guess they've been that way since they were given to me," she self-consciously brushes away a lock of auburn hair that has fallen over her eyes.

Given? I guess that's how humans have always seen the things they receive: as gifts from the gods. If they only knew. Gods are selfish creatures who only care about fulfilling their petty desires. I'm not an exception. Blessings and suffering, if they were doled out by someone, that someone wouldn't be a god. Maybe Fate personified or some other divine being, but definitely not a petty god.

"Youkai!"

I shoot up from my seat at the sound of the cry. A number of children rush into the house, sobbing in fear, calling out to Karin and in a flash she is at their side, comforting them. From the second floor, I hear the urgent rhythm of Father's cane as he rushes to see what the matter is.

And then, Jien's voice, "Father!"

Before I could open the door that one of the patients had pushed shut, Jien kicks it to let himself in. I see he has to kick because he has a very bloody Yaone in his arms.

Karin had hushed the children and had just sent them into another room, when she went to Yaone's side to check for a pulse. She directs Jien to a small room with a large couch which could serve as a makeshift operating table. Jien is lying Yaone down on the couch as I enter the room. He then stands back, distraught.

"Jien," I call to my bewildered youkai brother. It took him a second to focus and calm himself enough to comprehend words. When he was more rational, I asked, "What happened?"

Jien is close to tears, "She did it again. She cut herself up so badly, and I wasn't awake to stop her!" He lets the torrent of anguish fall, "I should have woken up early so I could have stopped her. She needed someone to talk to and I went out for a drink!"

"She's alive, don't worry," Karin reassures Jien as she kneels beside the youkai woman.

The wound that is bleeding most profusely is the one on Yaone's wrist. Karin places a hand over the wound and uses the other to stroke Yaone's hair soothingly. A pale yellow light bathes the open wound and it slowly closes.

As I comfort Jien, I could not help but be dumbfounded. "That's _chi gong._"

_**Author's Notes**_

_This chapter didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I didn't want the story to drag, and then I found myself rushing it. Sorry._

_I will most likely be doing rewrites._

_Still, I hope against hope that you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading._

_- Paris_


	9. Chapter Eight

_Please be reminded that I don't encourage people to slash themselves, though I know for a fact that many people really do. Sorry if the Jien is OOC. Replies to reviews are at the end._

_- Paris _

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Eight**_

The light of Karin's chi did not last long. After a few moments, she falls to the floor, exhausted by her efforts. "Karin!" I rush to her side. Jien can only stare, frozen with guilt and anguish, tears flowing freely.

Karin gives me a reassuring smile, "I'll be fine. I'm just not used to using my chi." She glances at Yaone with worry, "More importantly..."

I look Yaone over. The most serious injury she had was the self-inflicted slit on her wrist, which Karin had just partially closed. The rest of the wounds on Yaone are fairly shallow, but judging from the stains on her clothes, she already lost a lot of blood. I see a number of scars on Yaone's arms and legs.

Obviously, this isn't her first time to cut herself.

Father comes in with a basin and a kettle. Inside the basin are a washcloth, a number of bottles and some bandages. He easily makes his way to Yaone.

Karin stands up and takes the basin from him. "It's not as bad as that other time," she quickly empties the basin.

"Yaone-san," Father's brow is knitted with concern. He feels for the basin, and then pours the hot water from the kettle into it. "Karin, please take Kenren and Jien-kun to another room." He dips the washcloth into the water and soaks it thoroughly.

Karin takes Jien's hand and motions for me to follow. We leave the room just as Father begins stripping Yaone of her clothing. I wonder how a blind man can treat people without the gift of sight. I close the door behind me. By the time I catch up to Karin and Jien, Jien is walking without having to be guided. His movements are mechanical and his face is dark, though.

"In here," Karin brings us to a grand room, which turns out to be a library. "This is my sanctuary," her own introduction to her world as we walk in. All walls are lined with shelves filled with different sized and colored volumes. It reminds me of Tenpou's office. I am almost overwhelmed by the number of books in the room had I not picked up just about the amount of books several times in my immortal life from the floor of said office.

This library, thankfully, is organized.

Karin seats Jien on the chair behind the desk in the room. She searches in her pocket and finds a limiter, which she attaches to Jien's ear. Jien doesn't make a move to protest and probably from both physical and emotional exhaustion, the tempering of his youkai power knocks Jien out. I settle on the bookshelf's ladder.

"It's a complicated matter," Karin sighs to me as she sinks down onto the worn carpet.

I want to smoke, but respect for both Karin and the room stops me. I opt to just run my hand through my hair. "I take it this isn't the first time."

She meets my gaze, sadly, "No, I'm afraid it isn't."

The intense grief in her expression makes me uneasy and I raise my eyes to the high ceiling.

Karin begins picking on the carpet. "Aren't you going to ask what happened?"

Screw it, I need a cigarette. I dig into my pocket and find my pack of partially flattened cigarettes. Mental note to self, tight pants pockets are not a place for cigarettes. "Do you want me to ask?" I inquire as I pull out my lighter and light my stick of vice.

She doesn't answer.

"It really isn't my place to ask," I point out and she refocuses her attention on me. "But if you want to tell me something," I grin to encourage her. "I could never say 'no' to a pretty face."

She returns to picking on the carpet and is quiet for a very long while. I sense that she is gathering strength. When she finally talks, her voice is different. It sounds determined.

"I don't really know all the details, but I know that things began even before I could remember. Father doesn't talk about it, and I don't ask Jien-san. Yaone-san, I don't often see. She rarely leaves their house." She pulls her knees up to her chest then rests her head on the desk's front. "But, I remember, when I was much younger, Jien-san and Yaone-san were always here accompanying a redheaded man."

Kougaiji.

Karin nestles her chin in between her knees, "Then the redheaded man got very ill and had to stay here. Yaone-san wouldn't leave his side."

I see tears welling up in her eyes. "Eventually, the redheaded man died. That's when Yaone-san first cut herself," she squeezes her eyes shut. I don't really know if she did that to stop the flow of tears or if she just instinctively did it to shut out bad memories. "Father was worried about her so he asked her and Jien-san to stay. I was going to call her for dinner, when I saw her..."

She begins sobbing, her resolve dead. I can understand how mortifying the scene must have been for her, as a child raised with love. For Gojyo, that would have been an everyday occurrence: the drawing of blood.

It's strange how an every day occurrence for one person could be so unusual and unthinkable for the next.

"Karin saw Yaone slashing her wrists," Jien explains. He seems to have been awake for a while. "But Yaone did not stop at her wrists. She wasn't able to protect our prince and princess and so she felt that she didn't deserve to live."

Sounds like Yaone.

"But she didn't deserve to die, either," Jien seems to be fixated with something on the floor. "At least not quickly and without suffering."

Karin says nothing. She just sits there, lost in her own memories.

I shift my attention back to Jien, "And you?"

"There are other ways to make up for what you weren't able to do." Jien replies somberly, "And atone for things that you did."

_**Author's Notes**_

_Since things are picking up at school, I was kind of rushing this fic so I could finish it before inspiration and time ran out. But then I got some wonderful advice from narrizan-san to take my time (Thanks narrizan-san!)._

_Okay, next chapter will be up after I graduate on 2007! _

_ducks to avoid flying rotten food stuffs, books, and whatever else can be thrown_

_Nah, I'm just kidding._

_To Mika-Samu and ennui deMorte: Hmmm...Maybe... Thanks for the reviews and may I say that you have very interesting ideas._

_VG Terra, Vain Girl, ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, and Marron-chan1, thanks for the reviews._

_To everyone, thanks for reading up to this point. I wasn't really expecting anyone to follow this when I first posted it. Thanks very much._

_For those who hate me, flames are always welcome, in case you didn't know._

_- Paris_


	10. Chapter Nine

_Brace yourselves for a long winded story! I thought it was a necessary addition._

_I hope you enjoy._

_- Paris_

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Nine**_

It is already dinnertime and it is also the first time we see Father after he took care of Yaone. Fatigue is already catching up with him as he sits at the table, with barely enough energy left to eat.

"Father?" Karin calls out in concern as she brings in some drinking water. The meal is again, simple, but even if it had been extravagant, I doubt that anyone at the table would have cared.

Father gives Karin, Jien, and me a warm smile. "Yaone-san will be fine. She will wake up soon." Karin is about to pour more water into Father's cup when she sees it is full. Father places his withered hand on top of hers. "You know, it was dangerous for you to use your chi like that. You could have died," he reprimands her gently. Then a look of pride passes over his face, "But if you had not closed that wound when you did, she would have died. Thank you, Karin-chan."

Karin shakes her head. "I was just doing what you taught me to do, Father." She eyes the old man's full plate, "And you really should eat. This was a very long day for you. It wouldn't do your patients any good if you got sick."

Father chuckles, "I guess you're right."

The rest of the meal continues in relative silence. Father appears to tired to say anything, while Karin and Jien are lost in their own thoughts. As dinner comes to a close, Karin speaks up. "I'll clean up here, Father, please go upstairs and rest."

Father is about to protest, but I cut in before he gets the chance. "I'll help you, Karin," I glance at our old host who is smiling slightly. "If that's okay with you, Father"

Father nods. "Yes, of course."

"And what about you, Jien-san?" Karin addresses Jien who has barely put a word in since that afternoon at the library. "I think it would be better if you stayed with us. It would be better for Yaone-san to wake up to a familiar face."

Jien, at first, appears to not have heard, but then he stands up and walks to the stairs, probably on his way to Yaone's room.

Father feels for his walking stick and then uses it to help him stand up. "Are you sure you'll be fine?" he asks.

Karin is exasperated as she says, "Yes, Father, now go rest!"

The old man is satisfied and heads for the stairs after Jien. Once he is gone, I begin gathering plates and Karin collects the glasses. We do this task with fewer words than exchanged during dinner. After clearing the table, we head for the kitchen to wash our loads.

Too many minutes of silence.

"For someone who doesn't like youkai, you sure help them a lot," I point out to Karin. "You're such a good girl," I compliment.

Karin shakes her head as she places the glasses carefully into the twin tub sink. "No, it's not what you think. I'm not a good person."

"No?" as she steps aside, I set down my own load of dishes into the tub where the glasses are. "You've helped a lot of youkai out, haven't you?"

She reaches over to turn on the faucet, "But good people always do things out of the goodness of their hearts. I try to be very kind to youkai because I do not like them."

"So you're trying to make up for your hatred by being kind," I restate her sentence as we fill the sink with water. She's just trying to erase the guilt. "Now, isn't that selfish?"

"I know," Karin picks up a sponge and pours liquid soap over it.

The water in the sink nears the brim, "Why are you feeling guilty about it?" I turn off the faucet and she takes a glass and scrubs it with her sponge.

She is quiet for a while, and then laughs softly and sadly. "You know," she begins to explain her laughter to me. "Someone once told me that guilt is a useless emotion. The act you did cannot be changed and you need a clear mind to make up for it. Guilty minds aren't clear minds so in order to make up for your past, you must learn to let it go."

She passes me the soapy glass and I rinse it in the second tub. "Is that a fact?"

"I don't know," Karin moves on to her next item. "I've never been without guilt. I've always felt negatively about youkai and I've felt guilty about that negative feeling ever since."

Is this how Hakkai felt about the youkai that kidnapped his fiancée?

We finish off the dishes in silence, but before we part, Karin places a hand on my arm. I turn to her and meet her pleading green eyes. "Please, you're the only person I've ever told these things to. Please don't tell anyone," she lowers her gaze. "I think the youkai here are troubled enough without my dislike for them pushing them away from this place. This has become their sanctuary."

"Who could resist those pretty eyes?" I swear allegiance to her in my own way. And my words have never been truer.

She looks content and bids me goodnight.

All throughout the dishwashing thing, I've been needing a smoke and right now might be the best time for it. I head for the door of the house. The front stairs might be a nice place to think things over. But when I open the door, I see Jien there, staring blankly at the streets.

"Oi," I greet my older brother. "Mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead, I was waiting for you," he replied quietly.

I pull out my cigs and lighter. "Why?"

"I wanted to tell you something," Jien is idly toying with a small pebble he probably picked up just then. "Call it my confession, if you must. Do you have the time?"

I sit beside him and light my cigarette. "Sure, but why me?"

"Because, you remind me of my brother."

I should, shouldn't I? Your brother was my past life, after all. I manage to not say anything, though. I just take a drag from my nicotine stick. "Aa."

"Gojyo was the very reason why I became so devoted to Kougaiji in the first place," Jien tells me. I remember from my childhood that this was the tone he used whenever he read to me bedtime stories. I look up at the stars and listen. I loved bedtime stories, especially if Jien read them to me. "Kougaiji...Kou was so much like Gojyo physically and emotionally, but in some aspects, Kou also reminded me of me. Because of that, I understand how Kou felt about his little sister Ririn. Mothers or blood didn't matter; it was always that innocent child calling 'Aniki' or 'Oniisan' that was worth the pain."

Aniki, huh?

I let the smoke leave my lips slowly, creating gentle swirls of white in the night air. A breeze dissipates my smoky image as Jien continues.

"My mother used to hurt Gojyo because he was the son of a human. I killed her before she killed Gojyo. I don't regret my decision," Jien tosses the pebble he had been playing with. "But I tried to atone for my sin by devoting myself to another life, so for Kou I changed my name to Dokugakuji and swore to serve him to his last breath."

But the prince is dead, now, isn't he. That's why you're Sha Jien again.

"Kou, for his part, promised to protect Ririn always, but despite his best efforts, Ririn was still kidnapped by her own mother Gyokumen Koshu," the last name is said with disgust. "Gyumaoh's body was in far too bad shape for it to be revived completely. That bastard scientist Grokumen Koshu hired decided that using Ririn's body as a vessel for Gyumaoh was the best possible way for revival."

Some people are just horrible. "I heard that the revival succeeded," I say, trying to hide the growing anger in my gut. Ririn was just a child! How anyone could do anything to hurt children still baffles me. Children should never be used for personal gain no matter what the reason.

Jien is staring again into space, detaching himself from painful memories. "They did. Ririn became the vessel for Gyumaoh and Kou could not forgive himself. When the battle between the Sanzo-ikkou and Gyumaoh happened, Kou's first instinct was to protect his little sister. It was Goku who removed his crown limiter that defeated Kou and Sanzo retrieved the holy and evil sutra and used their power to remove Gyumaoh from Ririn's body."

I take it Ririn didn't survive that.

"Yaone and I took Ririn and Kou out of Houtou Castle because it was beginning to fall apart from the rampaging Goku," Jien moves on with his narration. I finish my first cigarette.

I see that he is just letting the events roll off his tongue, not really controlling what he says. He feels as helpless as he did back then when these things were actually taking place.

"No one, not even the great Genjyo Sanzo could stop him. Sanzo had been too exhausted from controlling the power of the two sutras to do anything, I think. That was when the castle crumbled. The Sanzo-ikkou never got out. Gojyo died there, in Houtou Castle," he pauses for a moment and I take the opportunity to light a new cigarette. I am taking a drag from my newly lit piece of heaven from hell when Jien resumed talking. "And as it turns out, when Ririn was turned into a vessel, she had been killed so she could be replaced by Gyumaoh. Without Gyumaoh, Ririn was dead. Kou couldn't forgive himself."

I probably wouldn't have forgiven myself if I'd been alive to see Goku die, so what more Kougaiji who was actually related to Ririn?

Jien glanced up at the window of what I assume to be Yaone's room. "Kou lost it after Ririn's death. He barely ate or slept. He almost never talked. Yaone couldn't stand it. Despite her minding Kou twenty four-seven, his condition deteriorated. We sought help from the most well known doctors, but none would take us, because all known doctors were human since youkai doctors were still suffering from effects of the Minus Wave. That was when we heard of the deeds of this kind old doctor."

"Father?" I try to confirm my suspicions.

"Yes," Jien has a tender look on his face. "Father took us in without question. He even helped me get a job by giving me my limiter. When Kou died and Yaone started having violently depressive moods and began hurting herself, he helped us cope. Karin was barely a child then."

I extinguish my cigarette on the stone of the steps and Jien is suddenly watching me with interest. "Is that your confession?"

"Pretty much so," Jien responds, his gaze still on me as I stand up and dust my pants.

I stretch my arms lazily. "Well, it bored me to death."

He laughs. "Sorry, I figured you weren't the type who went for drama," he tells me. "My brother hated drama."

I look him straight in the eye and with much seriousness; I give my own confession in my own way. "Why are you talking about him in the past tense? You never know, he might still be around." I reenter the house. "Good night."

I can feel that Jien is still smiling, though he didn't understand my words, "Good night, Kenren."


	11. Chapter Ten

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Nine**_

"Alright, repeat after me," Karin tells her students. "Four multiplied by one is four."

"Four multiplied by one is four," comes the chorus of young voices.

It is a few weeks after I arrived in Father's home and things were beginning to settle down. Yaone woke up some time ago, and Father offered to help her work out her issues. He also asked that Yaone and Jien stay with us for a while. Father had said that with the growing number of patients, he needed more hands. I see that Father not just wants extra help; he also wants to keep an eye on Yaone and Jien.

I, on the other hand, feel like I shouldn't go anywhere.

I have been spending the past mornings watching Karin's classes. She is, indeed, a wonderful teacher, and the children—who are all youkai—are drawn to her radiance. Right after Jien came rushing in with Yaone, most of the children were, for a while, too afraid to attend classes, though they lived on the second floor of the building. Karin had decided to devote those days to story telling about how the world will become peaceful again, thanks to four unlikely heroes. Her story drew the children out of hiding.

_**And it also drew me to her.**_

"Ara," Karin needs only to glance at the students present to know that more than a few had chosen to be absent that day. Out of her twenty students, only three showed up. She looks thoughtful. "We can't proceed with class if there are so few of you. How would the others catch up?"

I watch her from the back door of the house.

Classes are usually held at the garden behind Father's house. The garden is large and well taken care of. It is carpeted by grass and filled with flowering plants. At the center of the garden is an ancient tree with a sizable canopy. I guess the tree was there before the garden and whoever built the place decided it was too noble to cut down. High wrought iron fences covered with thick vines surround the gardens preventing outsiders from seeing into the compound.

It is a small idyllic refuge for these children who deserve nothing less.

Back to Karin, she had just found a solution to her dilemma. She sits on the large knotted roots of the giant tree and motions for her few students to come to her. "I think I'll just tell you a story."

"What about, 'neesan?" a little girl in a light blue dress asked as she smoothed down her skirts. From the style of her clothes, I see that she is high born. Her bright blue eyes and soft caramel colored curls are highlighted by her dress. So, not even the rich had the power to stop or at least avoid the hatred.

I divert my attention to Karin's answer. "It is about things that happened not too long ago, a few years before I was born."

A young boy with purple eyes and black hair frowned, "But you were born a long time ago, Karin-oneesan."

Karin laughs softly, "Well, I guess so, Kano-kun." She then corrects herself and proceeds with her tale, "So, it should begin like this: a long time ago, things in this world were different. Humans and youkai got along very well and they lived together in peace..."

This will be boring. I decide to return to my room and take a nap, and maybe drop by Yaone's room to see how she and Jien are doing. One of the children asks Karin another question as I reach for the door knob.

"You better let me finish first," Karin says good-naturedly. She continues, "... But an unusual event happened and a lot of youkai became bad. This made the gods sadbecause youkai used to be very nice." She flicks the noses of her students affectionately. "Like you and your mommies and daddies."

The kids giggle and Karin goes on, "So they sent out a monk to find out what was going on."

A monk, huh? I let go of the door knob and turn back. I smirk at the thought of Kanzeon Bosatsu becoming sad. Hell, she probably found the whole thing entertaining. The minus wave had driven the people in Heaven crazy and the so-called Goddess of Mercy probably thought it was a wonderful break from the lull of every day life.

Karin becomes animated as she tells her story. She starts waving her arms and changing her voice. "But the world was so big and he knew he couldn't travel alone. So, he asked three friends to come with him."

Friends? The day Sanzo admits that Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku were he friends would be the day he dyes his pretty blond hair hot pink.

I move myself to the side of the tree facing away from Karin and her class. I get as comfortable as I can and take out a cigarette and begin smoking. Karin and the children are upwind from me so the smoke shouldn't bother them.

_**I lose myself in the memories of my past life, which I had remembered over the years of searching for Tenpou. **_

"Kenren-niisan, class is over!" Kano yells at me as he enthusiastically jumped onto my lap. "Come on! Play with us!"

A little girl named Reiko, with long black hair, gray eyes, and very pale skin followed Kano and placed herself beside me, smiling. "Yeah, we finished early so lunch shouldn't be ready yet!"

From behind them, Karin laughs, "Yes, they learned their multiplication tables quite quickly."

I pick Kano up and set him beside Reiko so I can stand up. "Is that so? Then I guess they do deserve some fun."

"Yeah," Kaoru, the blue-eyed girl with curly hair agrees with me happily. "Karin-oneesan has been working us hard."

I raise an eyebrow, "Oh really? I guess Karin-oneesan should be worked hard herself." I walk over to Karin until I'm so close she could probably hear me breathe and stare deep into her eyes.

She blushes deeply, "Kenren-san?"

I don't say anything. Instead, I reach out one hand and place it on her arm, as if to pull her close. Then I smile deviously. I release her arm and tap her lightly on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it."

At those words, the kids scream and scatter, getting as far away as possible from Karin. I run away, too, before Karin realizes what had just happened. When she realizes what had just happened, she glares at my retreating figure and comes after me. "Kenren-san! That was so unfair!" she yells after me, "You come back here this instant!" She is still a bit red. Whether her flush is out of exertion or an aftermath of what had just happened, I don't honestly know.

"What? And be tagged it?" I turn and start running backwards. "No way!" I stick my tongue out tauntingly.

"You are so childish!" Karin practically screams.

For vengeful purposes, Karin focuses on chasing me. Of course, being the gentleman that I am, and seeing that the children weren't having very much fun with Karin concentrating on me, I let Karin tag me.

_**And so, the game goes on until lunchtime.**_

"Ah, Kenren-san," Yaone greets me brightly as I walk in for lunch. She is looking much better than before. Well, last time I really looked at her, she was a bleeding mess. I push memories of that Yaone away because with Father's, Jien's, and Karin's help, she would never look like that again.

I am a bit disappointed, though, since she is wearing a rather modest lavender Cheongsam. It still suits her, but sometimes I wish she would show a little more skin.

I guess with all the families in the house, Father maintains a dress code that is horny teenage boy friendly.

Yaone is setting the table. Karin had stayed with the kids a bit longer, giving them their homework assignments. "Jien is outside picking spices from the garden, so I hope it wouldn't be too much trouble if I ask you to go ask Father to come down for lunch," the youkai woman requested, also filling me in on Jien's activities.

"Sure, I'll get to it," I make my way to the stairs, banishing from my head the ridiculous picture of Jien in a pink apron and straw hat bent over a garden of spices.

"And, Kenren?" Yaone pops her head from the dining hall. "Please be quiet. Father hasn't been feeling well lately."

Yeah, come to think of it, I haven't seen the old man all day. I hadn't noticed since Yaone had been waking me up for breakfast for the past few days. I guess that's why.

Alone, on my way to Father's room, I become lost in thought. Feelings of attachment towards Father's household had developed inside of me over the past few weeks. One reason is the children. I have always liked children and Karin's students are some of the most adorable kids I've ever come across. And these kids accept me as if I were family. The other reason is the kindness of Father. Somehow, I feel as if I should do more for the old man before I left. The third and fourth reasons are the most important. Jien and Karin. Jien, with all that has been happening, he seems like he needs a family. And, on some level, I am family. And while I stay to help Father and Jien, I also stay because I have come to need Karin. Karin, with her bright smile and fervent love for Father and her students, is like a breath of fresh air that I have come to crave. She is still uncomfortable with the older youkai, but with her students, she is like an older sister.

Maybe it's because she knows that the young youkai haven't killed any humans at all.

I reach Father's room and raise my hand to knock, but before I can, I notice that the door is ajar. I push it open slowly. "Father? It's Kenren. I'm coming in."

There is no answer.

"Father?" I let myself into the room. I can still feel that faded life force so I know that he isn't dead yet.

As I enter, I see that Father is still living and sitting by the window. His head is propped up by the high back of his chair and is turned up towards the sky. He has never looked older to me than now.

I see the white cloth that always covers Father's eyes on the dresser.

My footsteps on the wooden floor wake him from whatever dream world he had gone to and he rolls his head so he could face my general direction. I am met with a blank red-eyed stare of a blinded child of taboo.

"Kenren," Father snaps me out of my bewildered state. He has a small smile on his time-weathered face. "Did you come to call me?" More of a statement than a question.

I nod mutely, only to mentally kick myself. Father is blind, he cannot see you nod, Kenren no baka! "Yeah. Yaone is just finishing up in the kitchen."

Father picks up the white cloth blindfold and puts it on. "My eyes. I know, they're the eyes of a half breed. The taboo child of a youkai and a human."

"Yeah."

Father feels for his walking stick and stands up from his chair. "Well, being a half breed is not a fate I would wish on anyone else. Not at this time and in this world, anyway."

He heads for the door and I follow.

I know what he means. Half breeds are neither human nor youkai. The youkai part is not trusted by humans while the human part is looked down upon by youkai.

If I were given the choice, I wouldn't have minded living life as a half breed the way Gojyo did, as long as no one else had to suffer that fate. Not belonging anywhere is a fate worse than death. It is living a life that is geared towards being killed slowly and painfully from the inside.

I'll keep your secret, Father, I promise.

_**Author's Notes**_

_I wonder if I've dropped enough hints as to who Tenpou really is. I really suck at developing love stories, though. I can't explicitly develop a relationship! I mean, in the story-writing sense._

_narrizan-san, alas, the last few chapters have been hurried. Probably even more so than the ones before. Ten and eleven, though aren't as rushed. Thanks for the compliments again, and no, I won't let you wait two years because by then, I would have forgotten completely what I wanted to write in the first place._

_ennui deMorte, ah, yes, the foolishness of the tragic hero. If I remember correctly Hakkai as Gonou was little different from Kougaiji and Yaone. Isn't that why one of his eyes is damaged? Well, I wouldn't say Jien was throwing his life away, I mean he is trying to take care of Yaone. _

_Oh well... Tragedy is fun. Thanks for the review._

_ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, thank you for the kind words._

_VG Terra, thank you for reviewing. Yes, I am working on passing. Thanks for your concern. And congratulations on finishing high school. Heaven knows how difficult that can be!_

_Well, we're nearing the finish line here. To everyone, thanks for reading and reviewing! And, just a wild guess, does 58 mean Hakkai/Gojyo? I am such a dork._

_- Paris_


	12. Chapter Eleven

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Eleven**_

"Beautiful night, isn't it?"

Karin is staring at the stars, a sadness in her emerald eyes.

"Aa," I utter in agreement as I lie down on the grass. "It's the perfect night for romance," an offhandedly thrown comment. I don't really mean anything by it.

It's after dinner and we're out in the garden stargazing. Yaone had ushered me and Karin out of the kitchen and insisted on doing all the cleaning up alone. Jien had gone out to buy some supplies and asked us to wait for him before we began our reading session. It had become a ritual. Karin would pick out a book and read it to Jien and me for an hour or two every night.

We are silent for a moment.

"I wonder how it would feel like to be kissed. I have never been kissed before," Karin muses out loud.

As curious as I am, I don't give any sign that I heard her. What brought this on? Was that a proposition? No. She isn't longing. That's not the sound I can hear from her voice. It's more like...

...Fear? I don't feel anything that she should be afraid of. And in any case, a god should be a good enough defense against almost any threat.

"I just thought about it," she continues. "If I were to die tomorrow, I would never feel how it feels like to be kissed."

_**I drift off as the memory of a long forgotten kiss comes to mind.**_

"Gojyo," you call out my name and it sounds like the most beautiful music to my ears.

It has been quite a while since we began this trip and over the months of traveling with you, the idiotic monkey, and the surly monk have made me realize just how wonderful a person you are. I very much appreciated you as a best friend in the beginning, but now...

...I appreciate you in more ways.

"Yeah?" I shift the grocery bags you asked me to carry as I turn to face you.

You are smiling like a child who had just found free candy. Knowing you, however, I doubt that free candy is all you found. You point to the store behind you. It's a rare books store.

Heh. Figures.

"Would you mind if you went on ahead?" you ask. "I just want to take a look inside for a moment, if it's okay."

I look at you questioningly. "Why would you want me to go ahead? Is there any hidden porn in there that you don't want me to see?"

You laugh lightly. Forget what I said before. Your laugh is the most beautiful music to my ears. "No," you keep smiling. It's nice when your smile is real. "I just thought that you'd rather go ahead."

I shrug. "I'll go with you." Come on, Hakkai, I treasure every moment that the two of us are away from the monkey and the monk, can't you see that? Aren't you wondering why I've been helping you with the shopping more often and with fewer gripes, lately?

Hmm... The monkey and the monk. Well, they do go together perfectly, don't they? Do 'Hakkai' and 'Gojyo' go together as well? 'Kai and the kappa...

Damn. That stupid monkey's nickname is stuck in my head.

"It's just that books aren't your thing. You told me once that you hate reading long books, especially those without pictures and those are the things inside," you reason out, making sure that I know what I'm getting into.

I walk ahead of you into the rare books store. "I'm not unlearned, you know. I can appreciate a good book."

You chuckle again, fondly, this time. "Thank you, Gojyo."

As you go to the clerk to ask for a book you've been wanting to read, I aimlessly scan the shelves for anything that piques my fancy. And then I chance upon an interesting book. I glance at the title. _The Kama Sutra_.

Sutra, huh? Maybe this would tell me something interesting about that piece of paper everyone's been bitching about. I put down the bags that I'm carrying and open the book to no particular page.

"_When a woman clasps her lover as closely as a serpent twines around a tree, and pulls his head towards her waiting lips..."_

Holy—!

There is hidden porn in this dump!

"_When a man and a woman, lying on a bed, embrace each other so closely that their arms and thighs are entwined in a gentle friction, it is called the Union of the Sesame Seed with the Grain of Rice,"_ you read over my shoulder. Your voice caresses the words so enticingly as your breath tickles my neck. You then take a step back and chuckle. "Why, Gojyo, I didn't think you'd need education in that department," you tease. There is already a new package amongst our groceries. You already have your book of choice.

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. "It's about a sutra," I reply trying to sound nonchalant. My voice sounds weak and dull to my ears.

How the hell do you do it, Hakkai? How can you be so good at staying calm and collected?

"Of course it is!" you respond brightly. Somehow, it doesn't sound like you believe me.

I show you the title. "See?" I sound so defensive, don't I? "It says so in the cover: Sutra!"

"So it does," you nod, smiling. "Do you want it, Gojyo? I could charge it to the book allowance Sanzo so kindly gave me."

I am about to shrug when a naughty thought comes to mind. "I would want it if you promise to read it to me."

You remain unfazed as you put your load down and pluck the book from my hands. I remember how you used to bug me about reading more books, and it looks like you'd do anything to get me to do just that. I watch, grinning quietly, as your brows knit while you scan through the pages. Then you stop at a certain page. "Alright," you take a deep breath.

You really are going to read to me, aren't you?

"_When a woman gazes longingly at her lover while he is asleep and kisses him to show her love and desire, this is known as the Kiss which Arouses,"_ you read out loud in that modulated voice of yours. Your voice is not too loud and not soft and doesn't grate my nerves. I find myself staring at your lips as they move with the words.

You're so preoccupied with the book that you don't notice me looking on so intently. My heart is beating so quickly and painfully that it's driving me insane.

"_When a woman kisses her lover while he is working or scolding her, or when he is preoccupied, so as to distract him and divert his attention to her, it is known as the—"_ I cut you off by leaning over and brushing my lips against yours. I pull away quickly, not giving you time to respond.

Shit. My heart must have driven me insane.

You're flushed. "Ah, Gojyo..." you begin.

At a loss for words, Hakkai?

"That kiss is called the Kiss that Distracts," you smile, but there is something hidden behind your smile. There is pain behind that smile and it is almost tangible. I know how carefully you choose your words, but they still come out in a way that hurts me, "Though I hardly see you as a woman."

Of course I'm not. You're not bisexual, Hakkai. You love Kanan and she will never be replaced by a man like me. I try not to show the hurt as I laugh it off and tell you that we'll just buy the book on our way back.

_**That was our first kiss and will probably be our last.**_

"Kenren-san? Are you awake?"

I open my eyes and drown in green. Karin is peering at me so closely that her sparkling emerald eyes are mere inches from my own blue ones. I feel the same unusual rhythm in my chest as I had long ago while watching Hakkai read.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes, Karin?" I murmur.

We're so close that she can't move away. It's as if the closeness pulls us together to be even closer. She responds distractedly. "You did. Several times before in the past few weeks."

"Well, I meant it every time," I raise my head slightly so my lips are almost touching Karin's.

With our lips still separate, she takes the chance to answer. "I know."

Her lips meet mine.

Though the kiss is shy and brief, strong emotions wash over me. Immediately, I am ashamed for taking advantage of a young girl's innocence. I gently push her back and she stares at me, her own guilt painted on her pretty features. "I'm sorry, Kenren-san, I shouldn't have..."

I wave my hand. "No, I'm sorry. You're just a young girl."

Karin tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and appears thoughtful.

Just then, Jien's head pops out of the window. "Oi, you two, I'm back! Ready for our session?"

"Sure!" Karin waves her hand in acknowledgment. She then quickly hides behind her sweet smile as she waits for Jien to go back inside. She stands up and cleans her dress of dust.

I get up after her, "Oi."

Somber verdant eyes, though no less in beauty, meet mine though the smile remains intact, "It never happened, right?"

I am taken aback. Then find my bearings. "Yeah."

We then head back to the house.

As we reach the door, Karin pauses before she turns the knob. "Kenren-san?"

"Yeah?"

She smiles a sincere smile, albeit filled with so much pain. "Thank you. If I die tomorrow, I would know how it feels like to have been kissed."

"It was my pleasure, as long as it was yours," I answer smoothly. But I am sincere, as well.

We enter the house as I lose myself in thought.

Any kiss is good as long as it's with a beautiful person. Karin is beautiful, and the kiss was good, and if she was happy about it, on some level, so am I.

But it drew out all the wrong feelings. Regret, guilt, shame, and all those other emotions I feel whenever I charm my way to some random girl's bed swept through me. Like there is no noble intention. No love.

_**We enter the library where Jien is waiting.**_

"_Oh my wild one, your bravery will be your own undoing,"_ Karin spoke with little expression as she read from the large black volume. Usually, she was alive with emotions she felt were being expressed by the authors, but tonight...

Jien notices the difference, as well, and he is looking at Karin with concern. But he keeps quiet. I don't say anything either. I'm not sure what's bothering her: the kiss or that other nameless cause that had made her ask strange questions earlier tonight.

Oblivious to our worry, Karin keeps on reading. _"No pity for our child, poor little one? Or me, in my sad lot—soon to be deprived of you!"_

I see tears forming in her eyes and she blinks them away.

"_Soon... soon..." _Karin whispers then sighs deeply, forcing down sobs I know are trying to escape. She stares up at the ceiling. "Jien-san, that creature is coming, isn't it?"

Jien doesn't answer her. I feel utterly clueless, though a bit relieved that her grief was not caused by our kiss. Heaven knows I feel guilty enough about that already. I turn to my older brother, "Oi, Jien?" I know I don't have to complete my question.

"Aa," he replies. He is sitting on the floor at the far end of the library. "That creature is a legend among the villagers. It doesn't come often, about once every ten years. No one knows for sure if it's the same creature every time and I have never seen it to give you anything useful." He glances at Karin and the green-eyed girl nods. "But that creature killed Karin's mother."

"It was a youkai," Karin added softly. "A youkai killed my mother when I was just a baby. Everyone in the village says so. The last time it came, about ten years ago, many villagers were killed and severely injured. It would probably have been worse had Father not driven it out of the village."

Father? Maybe ten years ago, that ghost of a man was a hero. That would explain why villagers left his youkai sanctuary alone, despite their apparent hatred for the race. It is a twisted justice isn't it? A hanyou protecting humans from a youkai while protecting youkai from the humans.

"What makes you think it's back?" I ask.

"The day before the youkai came to the village was the only other day aside from today that I saw Father sick," Karin replies.

I light a cigarette and consider the matter. Maybe Father wasn't sick. Maybe he was preserving his strength.

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Karin was reading from the Iliad by Homer, the stuff Hakkai was reading are actual excerpts from a translation from the Kama Sutra. I'm ripping off so many writers._

_Thanks to everyone who taught me about ... er... the math of Saiyuki. _

_narrizan-san, I took the test and scored a 7/170. But then, I would have to admit that Karin is not as well-developed a character as I want her to be. I often have the very bad tendency to assume that my readers can read my mind. But thank you, I appreciate it that you pointed this out. :-)_

_Devera, I am so happy you are enjoying yourself. It's always a pleasure to find out that people are enjoying what they're reading._

_Attiqah Gensui, I'm flattered that you find this fic beautiful. Thank you very much. I actually was inspired by this fic called "A Taisho and a Gentleman". I forgot the name of the author, though. It's in and shouldn't be difficult to find._

_Rnij and Mysterious A, thank you for the kind words and I will do my best to live up to them. Yes, I will keep writing as long as time and my strength permits._

_Marron-chan1, thank you for sticking with my story. I will do my best to update regularly, and will try not to rush the chapters like I've been doing lately. Yes, this means I will start proofreading my works._

_ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, I certainly hope the ending won't be anticlimactic for you._

_FairyMage, Yes, in the words of Alanis "Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you". Thank you, it's nice to know I have influenced you to give something new a shot, the 58 pairing in particular. Whoo! I have used my new knowledge today!_

_Thank you for reading up to this point. Yeah, I know, I cut off this chapter at an inopportune part and I really should post the next part soon because this is just so... incomplete. The end chapter is drawing near and I sincerely pray that I do not disappoint._

_- Paris_


	13. Chapter Twelve

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Chapter Twelve**_

I stare up at the ceiling of my room in Father's house. There are too many thoughts—too many events from the previous day—that are running through my head.

Of course, the fact that someone, a so-called dangerous youkai, is coming isn't exactly a sleeping potion, either.

Not that I can't defend myself and the people in this house. I can do that. Oh yeah, Jien could always help, too. I bet Jien is thinking the same thing about me if he's still awake. Arrogant bastard.

I smile.

We'll be fine.

My mind wanders off to more disconcerting issues.

How did I really feel about Hakkai? In my memories as Gojyo, I could easily conclude that I was, at the very least, infatuated with my best friend. More importantly, how do I feel about Tenpou? I'm physically attracted to my superior, there's no doubt about that, but do I love him? If I do love him, then what about Karin? Why did I not feel anything when we kissed? The blonde prick Konzen had said that the eyes are the window to the soul and if he is to be believed then Karin is Tenpou's reincarnation.

No doubt I am still attached to Karin in some way. Maybe it's the red hair which reminds me of being a hanyou. Maybe it's the fact that her eyes are green like Tenpou's and Hakkai's. I don't really know. But if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I am not in love with Karin.

But am I in love with Tenpou?

And why would it be so important for me to figure it out? Tenpou made it pretty clear he did not want to be with me. No, I should never ever fall in love with Tenpou, no siree. He had given me an order. Explicitly. Even Hakkai, at some point, showed me the love he had for me was the love of a friend or a brother at the most. Neither Tenpou nor Hakkai could fall for a man.

Right?

So why is it so important for me to sort things out? Because I hate feeling confused. Because I hate not knowing where I stand with a man. Because I have a masochistic hope in my heart that insists that the man I love could change his mind.

Ha. Love? Do I love Tenpou?

Damn. I'm now back to square one.

I sigh and get out of bed. I need a smoke and maybe some fresh air, if that ever made any sense. In a few hours, the sun would be up, and I can't sleep. I move to the window so I can open it further and sit on its sill.

A chill runs up my spine. What the hell is that?

Concentrate, Kenren. Focus.

Oh shit.

I feel the youkai Karin was talking about approaching the village. He is still far, but he is coming fast. If he keeps up this pace, he should be here before morning. The chi is familiar, like it belongs to an old friend or even an old foe. I wouldn't want to be fighting that youkai, despite the fact that I know I will have no choice. His power is strong—damn strong—and uninhibited, probably a prelude to his nature as a person.

I hear a soft tapping noise coming from the hallway. The rhythm is urgent, but careful not to be too loud. I know exactly who it is.

I open the door and Father pauses for a moment, sensing my presence. He smiles amiably. "Could not sleep, Kenren?"

"Yeah," I tell him as I step out into the hallway and quietly close the door to my room. "Do you feel him, Father?"

"Aa." There is a dent in the normally serene demeanor.

I make my way to him, "Is this the creature that killed Karin's mother?"

Father weighs his words carefully. "The humans in the village say so." He proceeds to walk to the stairs. I notice that he almost doesn't need his cane to move through the hallways.

"What do you say, Father?" I press on as I join him. He obviously does not believe in the common knowledge that Karin was orphaned because of some heartless youkai monster.

He is quiet and reaches out for the banister he had earlier tapped with his cane. He seems distracted, because despite the earlier assurance in his step as he trekked down the hallway, he trips on his own feet as he steps onto the stairs.

I grab his arm, saving him from his fall.

He smiles at me, "Thank you, Kenren. Please excuse this clumsy old man."

"You're hardly clumsy, Father," I tell him as I guide his hand to the banister. Then I persist with my line of questioning. "And you're hardly the fool either. What happened to Karin's mother?"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Father chuckles, but it is sad and longing. "You remind me of someone I knew long ago." He motions for me to follow him. "Come, this is not the place to discuss matters like this."

He leads me to the ancient tree in the garden.

The large tree of some species I am not familiar with is the same tree Karin holds most of her classes under. I smile briefly as I remember the games the children and I played after their class. Father sits on a knotted root and I follow suit. When we are settled he massages the bridge of his nose thoughtfully. "I know for a fact that this youkai whom everyone calls a monster did not kill Karin's mother. He couldn't have. That was not his purpose for coming here. On the contrary, hatred of youkai did that."

Hatred of youkai...

It's typical. Everybody hates those that are not like them and those that they do not understand. Humans, youkai, even gods are guilty of that. Fear of the unknown is not unusual.

"What is his purpose for coming here? Why does this youkai keep coming back?" I decide to press my luck since Father seems to be in a very talkative mood. While his story makes sense, there are a lot of details missing. Curiosity or concern makes me want to know everything.

Father is pensive, and then half-jokingly replies, "Perhaps he comes for me." Yes, half-jokingly. There is an edge to his voice that tells me his words, to some extent, ring true. Is it for revenge? Is it one of those 'I live for the day that I defeat you with my own hands' kind of relationships?

In the distance, the youkai runs to this place with lightning speed. He is faster than I earlier thought. Father can sense him, but the old man seems unconcerned.

He should be here in no time.

Jien couldn't handle this guy. Shit. I'm not even sure I can.

Nah, of course I can! I'm Kenren. I'm a god. Then again, Homura and those two other guys were gods, too, and they were defeated by mere youkai and a human... and a monkey. Well, gods turned youkai, to be exact, and a damn strong monkey.

I briefly wonder if I could summon Gojyo's shakouju. That would really come in handy considering I didn't even think of bringing a side arm. Tenpou would shoot me with his side arm if he found out I did something so stupid as to relinquish my weapons during a mission.

But it was supposed to be a no-brainer and nonviolent mission...

I mentally kick myself. Why the hell should I apologize to a superior I haven't even found? And besides, when I find him, he will owe me one for bringing him back. No, this was a difficult trip. He will owe me plenty.

Wonder what favors I'll ask him for...

...then again, there really is only one thing I want from him, and that is one thing I will not demand. Be it love, affection, or just plain lust, if Tenpou were to return his feelings for me I want him to do it without influence.

Maybe I'll just ask for more wine. And maybe a long paid vacation.

Father points to our left and his movement catches my attention. "That's east. You might want to watch the sunrise later."

What?

"Uh...thanks," I manage.

He gives me a smile. It is warm, but I can tell that it is only on the surface. "There's nothing like a sunrise after a dark night to give people hope."

_**Author's Notes:**_

_I apologize for not posting earlier. The deadlines started kicking in and I didn't have time to write, I mean with my organizations and all..._

_Yeah, this is a bit short. Please excuse me._

_A thought came to mind while working on chapter 11, the flashback made me wonder about what would happen if Goku had been the one to find the Kama Sutra. Hahah. I can't imagine Sanzo going through the birds and the bees talk just because Goku found a copy of the verses of pleasure. _

_ANYWAY... :-) _

_Rnij and Mysterious A, blush Thanks._

_MikaSamu, I have fic ideas, but I really have to put them on hold. Thanks for sticking with this. If I remember correctly, you were one of the first to start reading and reviewing this story. I appreciate all the support._

_FairyMage, haha...I'm so sorry. 38? Okay, let's put my new knowledge to the test... Sanzo-Hakkai, right? Thing about Saiyuki is you can pretty much pair everyone up with everyone else._

_ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, thank you. I aim to please._

_narrizan-san, thank you. If...nay, when I do the repost, I will develop her person a bit more._

_Attiqah Gensui, I have it stored in my computer. It's an amazing work of literary art. The Taishou and the Gentleman, I mean. I think 'nice' is already being too kind, but thank you._

_VG Terra, open-ended. Yeah. I will fix that when I find the time. I promise. Thanks._

_Marron-chan1, well, no, I really don't have the time to proofread. Thank you._

_Chris-Redfield26, lose this story? Whatever does that mean? Jien, huh? I guess that means I should be nice to him in the ending... Thank you._

_Once again, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. You're all always an inspiration._

_- Paris_


	14. Chapter Thirteen

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

**_Chapter Thirteen_**

"Why are you out here?" I ask both myself and Father who is silently sitting beside me, probably mentally calculating the odds. It's been quite a while since we stepped out into the garden. Five sticks of cigarettes a while, if you want a time frame. The night is tense and still. People are asleep, and the animals are too afraid to come out. The wind is AWOL, too.

The quiet is making me uneasy, especially with an opponent approaching so fast.

He doesn't make a move to face me, but replies softly, "I want to see the sunrise, but I know very well that I can't."

Is he talking about not seeing morning the way Karin had been wondering about not seeing tomorrow, or is he talking about his blindness? Maybe both, I can't tell. His face is carefully neutral.

And what about you, Kenren? What's your excuse?

I slide back a bit on the rough bark of the root until I feel the trunk of the tree on my back, not a smart thing to do if you're wearing something made of thin material. But I'm wearing leather, so I'm fine. I lean on the tree and blow out a puff of smoke. "Are you hoping for something?"

"If I believed in life after death and redemption of sinners," he raises his face to the heavens, and as if on his command, the wind comes blowing, making his silvery hair dance. And, for a moment, it seems that he is decades younger than he appears to be. "Yes," he murmurs. "I suppose I would be hoping for something."

The wind dies out and so does the moment, and once again I see the age creep back onto Father's face. "Right now, this is something I have to do," he tells me. I know he is talking about facing the youkai everyone so fears. After all, wasn't he the great man who had saved this entire village maybe more than once in the past?

But this time, he won't be doing it alone. "You're not young anymore, Father," I point out. "You can't keep doing this."

He shrinks away from me ever so slightly that had I been anyone else, it would have been imperceptible. "Kenren, please do not stop me," his tone holds more authority than his words should contain. He almost sounds like an adult reprimanding a child.

I take a drag from my cig. "I'm not going to stop you. I'm just going to make sure that this will not be the last favor you ask of me." For Karin's sake, for Jien's sake, for Yaone's sake, and for the sake of all the families in this house, Father, "I want to make sure that you come out of this alive."

Something tells me surviving this is not something he expects to happen. A sad chuckle escapes his lips. "No matter what I do, I seem to be the one who always comes out alive. I have unbelievable luck, Kenren."

I hope that his luck would hold out this time. If my senses aren't deceiving me, luck won't be enough to ward off this youkai. I take a moment to evaluate Father's own power. One day of not healing an almost endless stream of patients seems to have done wonders for him. The life energy I once thought was fading is revitalized and surprisingly strong. I guess you'd have to have a large amount of energy to heal as many people as Father does.

I decide to drop the topic and we are silent again. I focus my attention on the chi of our enemy. I really can't help but think that it is familiar.

Wait. I can't feel his chi anymore.

I feel a hand on my arm. "He's here."

Everything is once again painfully still. I can't help but think about the silence before the storm. I hear my heart beat, solid and steady in my head. I concentrate, forcing myself to locate my opponent.

"Above us!" Father shoves me with his entire body and rolls us to safety.

A red staff with golden knobs at the ends comes crashing down less than a foot from where I land. The wielder of the staff turns slowly to look at me and I come face to face with the golden eyes of the Itan... the heretic child. "Goku!" I gasp out.

Goku smiles devilishly. He does not say anything. I see that his diadem isn't there.

Beside me, I see Father pulling himself together and pushing himself up. His blindfold had fallen off. His red eyes stare blankly forward. "He can't hear you. He's gone to a very dark place where his Sun is dead."

Sun? What the hell does that—? Konzen is fine! He's in heaven and...

I don't really have time to think, because I barely have time to dodge the blow Goku tries to deliver to me. When I am out of the way, the ground where Goku had been standing on exploded. I look up to find Yaone and Jien running out of the house and towards the battle.

"Oi, oi," I greet my older brother. "You're late, sleepyhead."

Jien grins widely at me, "It's not my fault you decided to start the party without us."

Yaone goes straight for Father who is standing on guard and assessing the situation. "Father, are you alright?"

Father smiles easily, "Yes, thank you for asking. How is everyone?"

"Karin is minding them. She's taking them all to the basement. They should be safe there." Yaone plants herself between Goku, who has decided to attack the old man, and Father. She throws explosives at their assailant. "You've saved me countless times, Father; it's my turn to save you."

"Yare yare, we've gone through this countless times," Father chastises gently. "You shouldn't live to repay other people, Yaone-san. You need to live for yourself."

Yaone just gives a grateful smile before readying herself for her next strike.

Goku had evaded all our attacks up to this point as we had evaded all of his. He is crouched on a large branch of the ancient tree, a bit confused. He seems to be figuring out which of us is least threatening.

"Why isn't he attacking?" Jien keeps his heavy sword drawn. I wonder briefly where he had kept it all these weeks we had been together in Father's house.

Father steps forward and Goku just watches him curiously. "He doesn't know what to do."

Being the old and apparently weak one, Goku immediately saw that Father—who had exposed himself—would be the best target, and in a blink of an eye, seized the opportunity to make a kill. He opts not to use the nyoibou and bares his fangs and claws.

I rush to Father's aid and as he sidesteps to avoid the oncoming blow, I am ready with a defensive strike.

A quick sidekick sends Goku flying in the direction opposite of that he had been heading. He had obviously underestimated his opponents and he was seriously pissed. Another smile crosses his face, this one more menacing than the first. His golden eyes glinted manically. The game he had been playing had just become more interesting.

I shudder a bit when I see that Goku barely felt my attack. He had been more surprised than hurt and now, the surprise was wearing off.

"Nice one," Jien pats me on the shoulder. "But you hit like a girl." He brandishes his sword as he moves towards Goku who is picking himself up. Jien swings the heavy blade at the golden-eyed boy, but is taken aback when he finds that the blade had been caught between Goku's hands.

"Get back, Jien-kun!" Father shouts in alarm as a surge of chi tells me that Goku is planning a powerful strike.

But Jien is not able to move in time and in a flash finds himself hoisted up in the air via his sword, which is still in his hands. Jien and his sword are thrown up to the sky and the nyoibou is summoned. The staff stretches to the length necessary to strike the airborne Jien right in the gut. Jien releases his weapon and he lands away from it, temporarily incapacitated by the force used on him.

"Jien!" Yaone cries out as she, without thinking, runs to her friend's side. Goku hinders her from doing so, and would have sliced and diced her with his claws, had Father not jumped in the way and taken her down. Long red lines form on Father's back, exposed as Goku's claws had torn through his clothes.

"You should watch where you're going, Yaone-san," Father reminds her, his voice strained by pain.

Tears stream down Yaone's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Father."

Okay, if Goku were to attack them right now, they would be dead meat, right? I take it upon myself to step up the plate and make my offensive. This effectively gets the monkey's attention. "Over here, bakasaru!"

I smirk, despite the situation. It's been years since I last called him that.

**_He charges at me._**

"That's mine!" Goku growls as he tries to grab for the strip of beef that I'm holding out of his reach.

I snort. There are so many advantages to being tall. I grin at him, "Baka, it doesn't have your name on it, so it's free for the taking!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see you chuckle quietly. The vein on Sanzo's head pulses angrily. I can almost see him reaching for his gun at this moment.

"Gojyo!" Goku complained.

I open my mouth a drop the piece of meat into it. I chew it slowly, savor the taste, and let the monkey know exactly how good it is. "Mmm..."

Hey, I have to win sometimes.

You're watching me with much interest. Then a mischievous gleam appears in your eyes. A short chuckle as an angry Goku tackles me to the floor. You saw that coming, didn't you? Then, you're belated warning invades my ears despite the noise of the annoyed saru and the softness of your voice.

"_**Watch out."**_

My attention snaps back to Goku who is already right in front of me, he has delivered his attack. Fine time for a flashback to happen, I'm probably dead now.

A sea of red invades my vision. I look down to find Karin had blocked Goku's staff. Her arms are crossed in front of her in a defensive position and are glowing a soft gold. She is not strong enough to fully stop Goku and is sent hurtling back towards me. Her back collides with my stomach and it takes all my strength and coordination to prevent us from flying to the house from the sheer force of the blow. I instinctively wrap my arms around my savior's body, holding her a few inches off the grass and keeping her safe. I end up skidding a few feet away from Goku, my feet digging little canals on the ground.

I check on Karin. Her chi had not protected her completely and I could tell that both her arms were badly damaged. She is in a lot of pain, but still finds the audacity to glare up at me. "What were you doing standing there like a complete idiot!"

I gently put her down behind me. "Remembering an old friend."

"You have interesting timing," she grits as she falls to the grass, passing out from agony.

Sorry.

So what's Goku's excuse for attacking? He seems hell bent on killing us, but...

"That was not his purpose for coming here."

...I remember Father's words.

Goku is still coming towards me. That's good since Jien is still out cold. Father is having a hard time getting up and Yaone is...

Golden eyes are suddenly turned up to the sky. He knows Yaone is attacking him. I won't give him the chance to make a preemptive strike against her. I lunge at Goku, an elbow-strike aimed at his chin. Goku easily fends me off with hands, and judging by the smile on his face, I know that he is playing with me. He is toying with me as a cat would do to a mouse it is about to kill. With Goku so close, I smell the pungent scent of infected flesh. That is when I see the many untreated wounds marking his body.

He gives me a feral smile and doesn't let me go.

With me there, Yaone thinks twice about throwing her explosives. That split second of hesitation spells trouble for her. I am abandoned by my captor and the nyoibou is brought crashing down onto the back of her neck in a fatal blow. Fortunately, Yaone manages to twist her body in time to block the staff with her hand. She lands hard on the ground, the force making her gasp and black out.

I watch as Goku gets ready for his next attack. I see him in a new light, now. He is like a wounded animal, afraid and in pain. He has come here for sanctuary, most likely because Father has treated him before. But maybe he cannot trust. He is confused and doesn't know what to do other than to attack.

I hear the soft clink of metal on stone and I see that Father is taking off earrings I never even knew were there. As his silvery hair grew and his ears, fangs, and nails sharpened, I hear myself whispering involuntarily. "Father...?"

I feel his chi flare to a degree I never thought possible for the old man.

No, I know this chi. I know this feeling.

Leaves were tattooed all over his now more youthful body, though his eyes were still red and his hair still silver. Goku easily weighs the bigger threat and since I am too shocked to do anything, he automatically goes for it.

I know that chi. That's...

Father opens his arms wide and welcoming. "Come, Goku," he calls to the rampaging boy like a mother.

What the hell? Why isn't he even defending himself? I run to him, yelling his name, which I now realize. "Hakkai!"

"_**Have you thought about it, yet?"**_

I blink. My eyes are taking their dear sweet time to adjust to the ungodly bright light that suddenly surrounds me. Then again, ungodly should probably be the last word I should use to describe the light that Kanzeon Bosatsu brings with her whenever she visits me.

"Thought about what?" I finally am able to make out the features of the infamous Goddess of Mercy.

She takes so much pleasure in explaining. "How you're going to get Tenpou to return to his body."

Oh yeah... Good point. Now that Hakkai is dying, I should give him a good reason to return to heaven.

"Sure, I thought you said heaven needed its best strategist back."

Kanzeon Bosatsu giggles. Giggles! If it wasn't so mortifying, I'd laugh. "You think he'd return for that reason? You know him better than that."

Well, I know he wasn't particularly fond of the drudgery of living there.

"Err...his family and friends are waiting for him?" So, it's cliché, shoot me.

She snorts. "Something better is needed in this situation. Besides, that's overdone."

Now, I'm lost.

The Goddess of Mercy pats me on the head.

"_**The right words will come when they need to. Don't over think."**_

When I come to, I am horrified as the nyoibou hits your stomach and runs you clean through. You do not even flinch. You keep your stand and Goku ends up falling into you. "It is over," you whisper, a smile on your beautiful face. A warm green glow wraps around you and Goku. Goku's eyes go wide at the lack of resistance at first, and then close, as an expression of peace takes over his face. A few words, which I could not hear, pass his lips before relaxing completely in your arms.

I finally find my senses and pull Goku away from you just as your chi fades. The nyoibou has long disappeared, with Goku falling into a peaceful slumber. I set him on the ground and barely have enough time to catch you who are now too weak to keep your body up. We both fall to the grass.

Some people just know when their time is up. You're one of those people, I guess.

I stare at your aged face and blank red stare. "Hakkai?"

"No one has called me that in years, Kenren." You cough. Blood pours out of your mouth as you manage to laugh, albeit choking on your own blood. "He was the last one to call me that."

He? Do you mean...

"Tell Jien-kun that it's time we told Karin the truth," you instruct me. "And that I loved his brother more than life."

...yes, you meant me.

"Hush, don't talk anymore, love," I stroke your cheek gently. You seem puzzled. Of course, you know Gojyo is dead. "I know you don't believe in life after death, but do you believe in happy endings?"

You don't answer. The life force that you had is fast fading. You're so close to death.

"Tenpou," I lean over to whisper into your pointed ear. And then I murmured the best reason I could think of to make you return to heaven.

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Yipes! Sorry! I've never been good with endings! I know this closing chapter was, well, crappy. But I'm superstitious and another chapter and an epilogue are coming up maybe...when all the angry shouts subside._

_Aheheh..._

_Flame me, but don't kill me._

_- paris_


	15. Chapter Fourteen

_Author's notes at the end._

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

I pass a hand over sightless crimson eyes, closing them forever. You would never believe me, but I can tell you with much certainty, Hakkai, I will see you in Heaven.

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

"Well, I didn't expect to see someone from the Sanzo-ikkou," Jien addresses me as I walked out of the room I had deposited Goku in. I had chosen to put him in the room farthest down the hall in the third floor in hopes that the rest of the people in the house would miss his presence. I wonder what my brother would say if he found out that he had been with someone from the Sanzo-ikkou all these years.

It's almost funny.

I turn to Jien who looks about as exhausted as I feel. There was about as much humor in his voice as there is on his somber face. "Karin?" I ask him, reaching back to close the door behind me. I try to be quiet. I know that when Goku awakens, he will either rampage or leave, and if he chooses to rampage...

I examine Jien's injuries. Mine are nothing compared to his, Yaone's, and Karin's wounds, but...

...we wouldn't be able to hold him back.

The door softly clicks shut, its sound matched in volume by Jien's reply. "She's in the library. Yaone's treating her wounds," he avoids my gaze, fighting the tears that I can sense are threatening to form in his eyes. "She hasn't talked since she found out that Father had died."

I nod, understanding. I briefly wonder what had shocked her more, learning that her beloved Father is dead or finding out that he was a youkai. Hard to gauge, in this case, and it isn't like me to ask.

"How's he doing?" Jien composes himself and peers over my shoulder and at the door of Goku's room.

I remember smelling the putrid scent of festering flesh when we had fought and I remember seeing the countless sores and infections marking his body. I remember thinking that Goku was like a wounded animal, scared, untrusting, and alone. But when I lay him down on the bed, he had no injuries. "He's smiling..." I answer Jien's question. Somehow, that thought makes me happy.

An inquisitive eyebrow rises, "Smiling?"

"Aa," I begin walking back the hall towards the staircase. There are many things to take care of. Jien stays in front of Goku's door. I know that he wants to see it, Goku's smile, but Jien knows better than to do anything to try and disturb Goku right now. "I think he's dreaming of home," I tell him before continuing on my way.

"Maybe he's dreaming of the rest of the Sanzo-ikkou,"

Yeah, with the four of us, home and the Sanzo-ikkou don't really have much of a difference.

Jien catches up with me. There is a strange expression on his face. It is almost bordering on amusement. "I should have known he would be indestructible. Over two decades and he hasn't aged at all." He stares ahead at nothing and I take the opportunity to watch the many subtle emotions that are painted on his features. He is reminiscing. He catches me staring. "What?"

"You're weird," I tease him lightly.

"Is it really wrong for me to feel nostalgic in this situation?" Jien takes to watching our feet as we move through the halls. He seems to be taking comfort in the repetition of each step consistently moving forward.

I know exactly how he feels. No matter how painful memories are, I know that at some point in my life, I can actually smile, albeit bitterly, about them and tell myself that I lived through it. That none of that really matters anymore because I have overcome those things and there are probably tougher battles to face ahead. I have this luxury because I have an eternity to learn acceptance.

And once good memories and bad memories all become just memories, looking back gives a certain warmth that isn't easy to explain.

I stop by the stairs and he is surprised by the sudden change in the rhythm of movement. He stops as well just as I bodily turn to face him. "No."

Jien grins. "I guess not." Maybe he is dreaming about the Kougaiji-ikkou.

We make our way down the stairs and I glance at the door to the small room where we had put Hakkai's body in. It's the same room he had used when he healed Yaone after her last depressive fit. But, unlike Yaone, he wasn't bleeding. Dead people don't bleed. The blood stops flowing sometime after the heart stops beating, then everything is about gravity. I had placed him there before helping the others back into the house. No point in letting his dead body be the first sight Karin and the others see when they wake up, I had reasoned to myself.

Before I even realize it, I am in front of the door of the room where Hakkai's body lies.

Jien is behind me. "He shouldn't be going anywhere," his tone is once again serious, being reminded of the death of a loved one we are all facing.

"We should bury him before the sun rises," I voice out my thoughts. "No point in letting the townsfolk know about his death."

It's really hard to believe everything that has happened in such a short while.

"You're right," Jien nods sadly. "Without Father, there really is no reason for them to let these youkai stay in town." He loses himself in thought. I don't have to tell him what he needs to do, though Hakkai had instructed me to do so. It looks like he already knows his role in all of this. "Should I tell Karin everything now?"

Well, should he? "I don't know. If you think she's ready." I force myself to move away from the door I have morbidly become so attached to. "What will you tell Karin?"

A heavy sigh escapes his lips. "The truth, what else?"

"But what is the truth, Jien?" I pin him with a look. He is taken aback by the question and by the intensity of the stare that came with it. "What do you know is true?"

"I know as much as Karin needs to know," he finally replies after a few moments of silence.

The two of us are once again quiet. Without words, I accept his explanation. Without words, we decide to go to the library and do what needs to be done.

In a moment, we are in front of another door. Jien knocks on it softly and waits, making sure that we don't catch Yaone or Karin in a compromising state. Yaone, as I anticipated, lets us in.

"How is she?" Jien murmurs to the pharmacist. His words are difficult to make out, but years of spending time together taking care of Lirin and Kougaiji formed communication lines between the bodyguard and the healer that needed almost no verbal cues.

Yaone understands Jien perfectly. She moves her gaze to a dark corner of the library. "I tried talking to her, but we're not very close..."

I follow the direction her line of sight has taken, but not without noticing that her pretty eyes, though not puffy from crying, hold a sadness that cannot be fully comprehended by someone who has not experienced loss. But there is also strength behind that sadness. There is hope and a will to move forward. And there is understanding and sympathy for the only one of us who is not truly familiar with the fact of life that is being left behind.

I hear Jien's footfalls as he approaches Karin and I snap out of my contemplation of Yaone's eyes. I notice that Karin is curled up in a corner hugging a book tightly despite her bandaged arms. Even from this distance, I know that the book was not bound professionally. The leather cover is worn with age and use. I can tell that it is a well-loved volume, often read over the years.

I squint to get a better look at the title painted in black. "Bedtime Stories for Karin"

Even from this distance, I recognize the hand that printed those letters.

"She was completely silent and unresponsive at first, and then she saw the book on the shelf," Yaone explains in soft tones. "It took her a while to get it out in her condition, but she wouldn't tell me what she wanted and she wouldn't let me help her. She didn't make a sound as I treated her and set her bones, but she was screaming like she was in so much pain when she saw that book but couldn't get it. And then she just retreated into that corner."

As she spoke, I played images of what had happened in the library while I worked on Jien's injuries, took care of Goku, and afterwards helped take care of the other inhabitants of the house.

Yaone and I watch silently as Jien towers over Karin, motionless. Underneath his stillness I can see the internal struggle my brother is facing, pondering what he should do. He doesn't know how to get the stricken girl's attention. Karin is in a whole different world. His face doesn't light up when he gets an idea, instead it becomes grim with determination.

As Jien leans over towards Karin, Yaone figures out what he is planning to do. "No! Not that," she cries out as she lunges forward to stop him.

But Jien has acted too quickly for her words to register in time and is too far to be reached by just one step. Just like that, the book Karin had been so desperate to get was in Jien's hand. Karin instinctively reaches out to get it back. She produces a shriek of pure agony that almost sounds inhuman when she realizes that her physical limitations doesn't allow her to retrieve what she sees as her remaining connection to man she loved and saw as her father.

The sound makes Yaone freeze in her place. "Jien! What have you done?" she wails, but her words are lost in the milieu of Karin's shouts.

The internal struggle in Jien escalates to an all out war. He loses his train of thought and stands there, watching in horror, unsure of what is happening and if everything is real. I run to his side and grab the book. Neither he nor Karin seem to notice or care. I open the book to a random page containing a story entitled "The Goodbye". The story is written in Hakkai's meticulous hand and I find its apparent subject apt for the situation.

I crouch beside Karin and speak close to her ear.

"_The Goodbye," _I read the title in a modulated voice.

I hope that, even with all that is happening, she will hear me. I hope that this will work. If that damned Goddess of Mercy can hear my prayers right now, I sure as hell pray that she be merciful right at this moment and let this work.

"_Once upon a time, there was a man who lived on an island with his wife." _

I continue though Karin has yet to quiet down. Jien is now looking at me, still disoriented, but quickly coming to terms with the situation. Yaone is more concerned with how Karin is still carrying on.

"_The island was big and beautiful and had everything the man and his wife needed, but still the man knew that his wife wanted to leave the island. Now, the man loved his wife very much and didn't want to be separated from her, but he did not want to leave just yet."_

The familiar words are beginning to register to Karin and she quiets down. She looks at me like I'm an alien being, but she listens to my speech intently.

"_He did everything in his power to keep her with him on the island. He knew that if she left him, she would never come back and that even if he went after her once he was ready to leave, he would probably never find her. So he took good care of her, using every bit of his strength to keep her safe and satisfied."_

I shift positions and make myself a bit more comfortable. Yaone kneels beside me, listening in. Jien seats himself in front of Karin, losing himself to the tale.

"_But the wife needed to leave, even if a justifiable reason could not come to her. So one night, the man locked every door and window in his house imprisoning her inside. He then spent the night destroying all the boats he could find, making sure she had no means of leaving. It was dawn when he finished and he was so tired when he got home that he immediately fell asleep. When he woke up, he realized that it was afternoon, and his wife was gone."_

What the hell was Hakkai thinking of when he wrote this story?

"_He ran after her, but could not find her on the island. He scanned the waters, but she was nowhere in sight. He then climbed the tallest trees and tried searching again. And sure enough, on a makeshift raft far out into the ocean, was his wife. She was a mere speck on the horizon, but his heart was sure that it was her. He called out to her begging her to come back and for a moment, he thought he saw her turn her raft around. He saw her wave at him, but he was so tired that he lost his grip and fell off the tree before he could wave back. And the speck passed over the horizon never to return again. The End."_

Where's the goodbye in all of this? Hakkai, you twisted, twisted person, this isn't a story you read to children when they go to bed. At least, I don't think so.

Karin's first sound was a strangled whimper. This made me want to search through the book for a happier story at first, until I saw a solitary tear roll down her still expressionless face, "Father..." she sniffles.

"If you spend all your energy trying to keep someone with you, you won't know how to say goodbye," Yaone sums up the lesson I had earlier missed. "Separation is inevitable."

_**Goodbyes are a fact of life...**_

It is dark and I feel myself slipping away.

"Gojyo!"

You're calling out my name so urgently. Your voice is hoarse. I try to open my eyes, but they feel so heavy. I gather all my strength so I could lift my eyelids open and maybe look at you.

"Please, open your eyes, Gojyo." A sob? "I'd give anything for one more moment..." harsh whispering this time. My body is surrounded with warmth, which imbues me with strength. And for a moment more, maybe because of your prayers, my senses become functional again and I open my eyes to find myself staring straight into yours.

"Hakkai?" I manage to rasp out. I don't even recognize my own voice.

You smile, but your voice comes out weakly. I'm not sure if it's my imagination, but I think your hair is a lot lighter than I remember. The light in your eyes is dimming, hiding your emotions in the shadows of death. "Gojyo, I..." you begin to say. But then you fall on my chest, unconscious. You have no strength left. The warmth that had enveloped me dies away and I know now that it had been your chi all this time. I feel myself slipping again.

Fate is cruel, isn't it?

_**And just like that, the one moment you paid your life for is gone.**_

I reread the last two lines of the story, _"He saw her wave at him, but he was so tired that he lost his grip and fell off the tree before he could wave back. And the speck passed over the horizon never to return again."_

So, I'm the wife now. And yes, in retrospect, Hakkai did spend a lot of time taking care of me, but he did the same for Sanzo and Goku. But he did spend what was left of his energy to keep me alive...

Gods, Hakkai... You never even had the strength to say goodbye.

"Karin," Jien begins finding his words and immediately, my focus is on him. This, the brother who had comforted me for years when our mother wouldn't love me, he couldn't find the words to deal with someone who wasn't as messed up as I was. Then again, I don't think he knew what to say to me, either. "Please, Karin, look at me."

Karin can't seem to hear him. She does not move from her position.

Jien sighs and seats himself beside Karin. "I already lost two redheads who were very important to me... I thought third time would be a charm." He catches her attention this time, but she still seems to be in another world, but the small response was encouraging. "You've grown up so much, Karin. You've changed a lot from when I first met you."

Yaone leans her head on my shoulder as a sister would to a brother. She is fascinated by Jien's speech and actions. She's probably wondering where all of this is headed...

...as am I.

**_Author's Notes:_**

_1 I'm abusing my right as a writer and am passing off Lirin as a blonde._

_Sorry, I'm still speed-writing. I'm actually rushing my paper for an upcoming convention. I've been living at the lab lately and this is a rare break. _

_Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed the last chapters. Sorry I can't reply to each of you individually this time. Also, thanks to anyone who has read up to this point. Knowing that someone's reading is reward enough. Reviews are well appreciated, though. Flames are welcome, if absolutely necessary._

_This chapter was too long so I split it into two. I'm debating on whether I should post the epilogue or not. My friend who found out what it was wanted to kill me when she did. Then again, I could always go into hiding._

_Paris_


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

**_Chapter Fifteen_**

"You had red eyes when I first met you. Just like my brother."

Now, that brought Karin back to our world. She peered at Jien curiously, her body slowly uncurling itself. How the red eyes I had so despised in my youth were to console this foster daughter in mourning eluded me. Then again, Hakkai had red eyes when he died.

"I guess they've been that way since they were given to me" Karin had once told me when I wondered about the one eye that was blind.

Hakkai had given Karin her eyes, that one was clear. I can almost hear Tenpou laughing softly and threatening to have me demoted for being so slow.

"Father didn't give you those green eyes to cry them out," Jien brushes the blood-tinged wave that is Karin's hair out of her eyes. "He gave them to you because he didn't want you to miss out on the world. He didn't want you to miss out on life."

"Karin," I place her beloved book on her lap, which had just now become available. She instinctively clutches at it, turning her now green gaze at me. "Do you know what red eyes mean?"

Nothing in her pained expression gives me any reason to believe that she does.

"Red eyes and red hair," Yaone reaches out and cups Karin's cheek. She smiles gently, "The mark of a child of taboo, the result of the union between a human and a youkai."

"But you don't have red eyes, do you?" I interject before this younger half breed could ever associate herself with a hated race. "Your eyes are beautiful and green."

No, she's not a half breed. She is human. She is youkai. She is whatever she chooses to be. She is no longer taboo. This is Hakkai's gift—more important than the gift of sight—this gift of acceptance.

Hakkai, as Father told me, "Being a half breed is not a fate I would wish on anyone else. Not at this time and in this world, anyway." Hakkai accepted me, while knowing full and well that most of the world did not. That, along with the Sanzo-ikkou, was enough for Gojyo. But maybe that was not enough for Hakkai.

"I have no images to remember of when I still had red eyes," Karin finally speaks coherently for the first time since the battle with Goku ended. "I have faceless voices, scents, and sensations, which I have almost forgotten. I don't even know how my mother looked like. I only have Father."

Jien places a hand on Karin's, "Now, you have Yaone and me and every other person in this house. Don't ever think that you're alone."

"I guess you're right," Karin is still not smiling and her mood does not lighten, but she somehow has gathered herself enough to say. "I need to let Father go. If I love him, I must let him rest easy."

Easier said than done, and I see that Karin knows this.

"The sun will be rising soon," I realize out loud. "We have to bury Father now if we're going to keep his death from the townsfolk."

Yaone nods and stands up. "I'll go clean him up and anoint his body. You boys better start digging," she hesitates in addressing Karin. "Karin? In your condition, I think..."

Karin shakes her head. "I'll join you. I have a few matters to discuss with Father before he's buried."

I see Yaone's smile light up her eyes, though her expression barely changes. I push myself off the ground and stretch my legs. Damn, have I really been sitting that long? I hold my hand out to Jien who takes it, then we both help Karin up as she doesn't have the use of her arms. "Shall we, then?" I ask Jien and Karin.

Karin nods slowly.

"Aa," Jien heads for the door. There is a note of satisfaction in his voice. "The shovels are out back. I'll go get them."

I steal a glance in Karin's direction. "Thank you, Kenren-san."

I grin at her, but give her a questioning look. "For what?" I really don't know what exactly she's thanking me for.

"For reading me a story."

Oh, that. "No problem."

As we walk out of the library, the spiking of a familiar chi catches my attention. Goku is awake, but somehow, his energy seems tempered by something. Jien notices it, too and signals for Yaone to take care of Karin. I follow the source of the erratic rise and fall of chi and am led to the room where Hakkai had been laid. Jien follows me.

I open the door to the small room and hear quiet sobbing. I recognize the voice. "Goku?" I call out softly, not wanting to pique hostility.

I am the first to step into the room to find Goku, not Seiten Taisen, standing there over Hakkai's body. He turns wide tear-filled golden eyes at me. Jien enters after me.

"Gojyo, I couldn't stop myself," Goku whimpers.

I approach Goku. Now, how does Hakkai do this? How does he comfort Goku? I wrap my arms around the 500-year old boy. "Baka saru, he did this to himself. He chose to do this. We couldn't stop him even if we tried."

Only then do I notice large earrings that looked like imperial jade hanging from Goku's ears. "Limiters. Hakkai gave you limiters," I murmur.

"But these won't be enough," Goku whispered harshly. "He already did this the last time and I broke them." I see cracks already forming on the fine green gems, a gold mist wrapping around them, threatening to engulf them and destroy them. Goku's power is too strong for Hakkai to control. And in his self-destructive and self-loathing state, there was very little drive for Goku to control his own power.

A soft cracking sound catches my sensitive hearing. Goku pushes me away. "I have to go."

"Goku, let us help you," I plead.

Goku steps away and takes one last forlorn look at Hakkai's body. "Look what happens to people who help!" he cries out and then takes off.

"Goku!" I try to follow, but Jien catches my arm.

Jien shakes his head. "If you catch up with him and his limiters break, what will happen to you?"

I snatch my arm away, "I have to help him. I'm the only one he knows!"

"If he kills you," I seem my aniki tremble slightly. "You're just giving him more reasons to hurt. Someone stronger will be able to help him, but what can we do?"

I sigh. I'm going to have to talk to Konzen about this.

"Kenren? Jien?" Yaone interrupts us. "Is everything alright?"

Jien steps back. "Fine."

"_**We have to get ready for the funeral."**_

"...He was a great man, the stuff legends are made of. More importantly, he was our Father, the one who would take care of us no matter what we did or who we are..."

Karin's words ring clear above the muffled sobs of the multitude of youkai who seek refuge in Father's home. Jien and I are carefully lowering Hakkai's body—which Yaone had earlier cleaned, dressed in good clothes, and wrapped in a pristine white blanket—into the pit we had earlier dug. The skies are already tinged green as morning approaches.

"...Even though we mourn in the passing of this great man, let us not forget that he gave us chances at life which we should not waste in sadness. This, I believe, is the legacy Father wants to leave."

Everyone stays reverently silent for a while.

During this contemplative quiet, I hope I'm not beaming like an idiot, but I'm damn proud of Karin for pulling through. I can see from the half-hidden grins of Jien and Yaone that they are, too. Then Karin steps up to the grave and throws in a small branch from the large tree in the garden. "Thank you, Father," she whispers.

She then nods for Jien to start filling the hole.

The moment Jien and I start to move, the peace is broken by stifled yet anguished cries and choking sobs. I feel sorry for these people. They cannot even mourn freely. They cannot scream out their pain. They have just lost a major part of their lives, and still they need to hide their despair.

Yaone frowns and I find out why when she speaks, "The sun is about to rise. Everyone, please go back into the house. Jien and Kenren will take care of it from here." She does not like what she's doing; parting the crowd too quickly from their Father, but hiding the death of Hakkai would buy everyone some more time in the town.

There are a few protests, but none too strong. They know what they have to do.

"Let's all have breakfast together and we can talk about the good times," Karin again.

"What will happen to us now that Father is gone? The townsfolk will run us off!" an older woman tells Karin.

The young redhead gives the woman a reassuring answer, "Nothing is going to happen to us. We will get on with our lives and we will be fine." Confident words I know she will do everything in her power to fulfill. The glow in her luminescent green eyes is a bit wiser.

These people will pull through. They have Karin, don't they? Jien and Yaone, too. They'll be fine.

"Oi," Jien calls out to me. "Help me out here a bit!"

Oh yeah, I was filling up Hakkai's grave.

I walk over to the mound of earth and begin to systematically scoop some from it, and then dump the brown earth into the grave. We're silent for most part of our task, but as we finished, Jien initiates conversation.

"You know, I wanted to put a grave marker, but I realized I didn't know Father's real name," he tells me as he pats the earth flat with his shovel. He then pulls out a vial from his pocket and pours it onto the newly turned soil. I am fascinated when the soil becomes covered in green grass, making the new grave look like an original part of the land. Jien notices my reaction. "Yaone formulated this back when we were still under...Kou's command. She's a wonderful pharmacist, it's almost like she knows magic."

His hesitation in saying Kougaiji's name does not escape me, but something tells me it was more difficult to say before.

"Two redheads, huh? Your brother and your master," I feel warmth on my cheek. I turn in the direction Hakkai had pointed to only minutes before he died. "There's nothing like a sunrise after a dark night to give people hope."

"What?" a puzzled look passes my aniki's face.

I find myself chuckling, "Nothing. Well, if you want to know what you should write on the grave marker, you should write Ch..."

"Father," an all too familiar voice cuts me off. "That is how you knew him and that is how you should remember him. His name is not as important as who he is."

My head snaps to the direction of the rising sun.

"_**Tenpou..."**_

I see you.

I see you standing there, the light of the rising sun behind you. I can only see your silhouette, but I would know that silhouette anywhere.

In the distance, Karin says my name, but whatever words that should have followed dies on her lips as you step away from the light and come into view. You're looking at her. Green eyes identical to hers stare at her with a fondness only a father could have for his daughter.

I follow your gaze and see Yaone, Jien, and Karin frozen by your presence.

Karin, still mesmerized, addresses you first. "Who...Who are you, sir?"

"This is my commanding officer," I reply for you.

You continue my response. "Tenpou Gensui. It's a pleasure to meet you. And I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure he was a great man."

I suppress the derisive snort that threatened to come out of me. Tenpou, you arrogant bastard, you know that it's you they just buried, don't you?

Karin bows slightly. "I am Karin and these are Jien-san and Yaone-san. It's a pleasure to meet you, too. And, yes, he was a great man."

Yaone and Jien nod as well.

"Were you the one to send Kenren here?" Jien asks.

"No. Some greater power did that," your face is a mask with a pretentious smile, it is hiding something. "I have come to pick him up. He was expected to return earlier."

Jien remembers something, then he looks guiltily at me. "But you never found that guy you were looking for. You stayed with us for so long."

"Iie," I shake my head, and meet your eyes, "I found him."

You raise an eyebrow at me questioningly, "Are you quite done here, then?"

I turn to look at Karin, then Yaone, and finally Jien. There doesn't seem to be any sign of protest.

Jien extends his hand out, I take it to shake it, but he does not let me. Instead, he pulls me into a tight brotherly embrace. "At least I know where you are. Take care of yourself, Gojyo."

Gojyo? He must have picked that up from when Goku and I were talking earlier. I hug him back. "I can handle myself, 'niichan, so you better take care, too. Or I'll come down from Heaven to beat you up."

Jien laughs and we part. "Come visit us, okay? I'd think Heaven has no place for people like us."

I shrug, "It's tolerating me just fine."

Yaone kisses my cheek, an act that means nothing more than what it is, "Thank you for everything, Kenren."

Karin does the same as Yaone, "Tell your friend he has beautiful green eyes as well," she whispers teasingly. She steps away and tells me in a louder voice. "If you see Father up there, tell him we miss him and we're grateful for everything he has given us."

I glance at you. Your smile changes ever so slightly. I don't know how I picked it up and I know any other person would have missed it. Then again, I spent long centuries of my life studying every nuance and implication of your smile. "Sure," I ruffle Karin's hair affectionately. She doesn't protest.

And now, all is done. I walk towards you. You already know what that means. You hold your hand out to me. "Let's go home, then."

I take your hand. "Aa."

...Tadaima...

_**END**_

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Sorry for the last err... "cliffie" was it? I would have posted sooner, I'm sorry. Had someone not asked about Goku, I would have been left with a big plot hole since in the original of this chapter, I had so neglectfully forgotten about him. Or at least, to imply what happened to him._

_Well, that's that! One more chapter to go...actually, an epilogue.._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Thanks to everyone who read._

_I wasn't sure what Goku is called without the diadem. Did I get Seiten Taisen right? Also, "Tadaima" in Japanese means "I'm home"._

_I'll try to respond to everyone who reviewed soon. Thanks a lot guys, really._

_- paris_


	17. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer**: Saiyuki is not mine. The story is fictional and all similarities to people and events in real life are coincidences._

**Those Beautiful Green Eyes**

_**Epilogue**_

Kanzeon Bosatsu peered over her shoulder and into her beautiful lotus pond, clear, calm and perfect as natural things in Heaven tended to be. But it was not the perfection of her pond that she was looking at, instead, she was watching a scene that, in her eyes, was more perfect that almost any scenery in Heaven.

"Oh, it looks like Kenren has finally found Tenpou," she comments to none of her companions in particular. Then, she smiled at the beautiful blonde in front of her who, despite his appearance of indifference, was actually very much interested. "Don't you think it all worked out for the best, Konzen?"

"Hn," the blonde god grunted.

"I understand how Tenpou might not want to return to Heaven and therefore needed someone to summon him, but I still don't understand why you erased Kenren's memories as Gojyo," Jiroushin mused out loud, but quickly added when he caught himself, "Not that I'm questioning your actions, Kanzeon Bosatsu." He nervously picked a tile from the wall.

Fortune was with Jiroushin as Kanzeon Bosatsu was in a rather good mood that day and his comment was not taken offensively. The mischievous sparkle in the goddess' divine eyes did not go unmissed as she said, "Well, memories are often taken for granted. Do you think Kenren would have come to the realizations he came to had he not had a hard time searching for Tenpou?"

"Draw your tile," Konzen said in a deadpan voice that hid both his irritation and his relief that the only people he considered decent company in Heaven were well.

"Don't act so unconcerned, Konzen, I know you're happy for them." The Merciful Goddess laughed before reaching over to pick her tile out of the wall. It was a wind tile. "Sha..." she thought for a moment realizing the coincidence that she picked the wind tile called "Sha". The tile did nothing for her current hand, though, so she quickly discarded it.

The player following her did not even smile, "Pon." His red eyes narrowed for a moment, and then. "Dai Su Shi," he announced revealing his hand to his opponents. "Forty-eight thousand points."

"Goujun-sama!" Jiroushin exclaimed, surprised by the sudden win.

"You really shouldn't meddle in other people's private affairs," Goujun addressed the Merciful Goddess pointedly, but not too harshly as the goddess still outranked him, strictly speaking.

"Well, congratulations, Goujun," Kanzeon Bosatsu grinned, though the vein twitching on her head showed her true emotions about the defeat. "With you being the Dragon King, I should have known that the lucky dragons would be at your side."

Goujun said nothing at this, not willing to dignify the goddess' wounded pride's remark.

Jiroushin, however unwittingly, added insult to injury, "Well, Great Goddess of Mercy, since you were the one who discarded the last tile Goujun-sama took, then it means that you have to pay him."

"Fine, Jiroushin!" the unhappy deity snapped.

Konzen grinned, his normally dour expression brightening up a shade at his aunt's loss. Whoever thought that the Merciful Goddess was a sore loser? He certainly knew that. He almost laughed at his own joke, but outwardly, his face remained carefully neutral.

Goujun caught the change in Konzen's mood. "What are you planning now, Konzen douji?"

Konzen stood up from his position at the mahjong table, "I have other matters to attend to. Would you mind lending me the marshal and the general?" he said without even bothering to give specifics knowing full and well that Goujun was already aware of whom he was talking about.

Her irritation at her loss immediately dissipated at her nephew's statement and Kanzeon Bosatsu quickly prodded the blonde god. "And pray tell what matters are most pressing right now?"

"I have to go pick up a monkey."

And Kanzeon Bosatsu smiled. Things were going to remain interesting for a little while longer. And maybe, just maybe, they would remain interesting for all eternity.

**_Author's Notes:_**

_Woohoo! That's done! Excuse me a moment while I dance for joy._

_Okay, here are my responses to the reviews of the last few chapters. So sorry if I keep cutting the chapters at the worst possible places. Like I said, endings, whether story wise or chapter wise, are not my strongest point. This is the reason why I welcome flames and more constructive criticisms._

_Anyway..._

_Chris-Redfield26, I certainly hope you like the way it developed and closed up to the end._

_kurri-chan, so sorry for any confusion. The preview option is a bit difficult to use if you're using a dial-up connection, which is why I rarely use markers and the like between scenes. Red eyes and white hair? Hmmm.. I hope that was explained well enough in the story, if not, feel free to tell me and I might post a side story to explain just that._

_ailiel, so sorry for the chapter title mistake. I probably forgot to change it when I posted it. I tend to be like that sometimes. Also, I'm not that familiar with Nataku's character so I can't really write about him...not that I'm very familiar with Goujun's character. I was just banking on Hakuryu being his reincarnation. _

_Marron-chan, I actually had the succeeding chapter all written out, but someone borrowed my flash drive and didn't return it until yesterday. Then, while reading your reviews, I realized that I had forgotten about Goku sleeping in an upstairs bedroom! That's why I wasn't able to post until now. I had to think of a way to remedy that. _

_FairyMage, it's actually flattering that you found that chapter sad. I have never really encountered death so I wasn't sure how the characters should respond._

_ennui deMorte, you're right about not minding that my friend wanted to kill me afterwards. So, here's the epilogue. Love it or hate it, you can tell me. Maybe, maybe...seeing Goku again could wake Nataku up, but I doubt that he could still see in that state of his... I thought of that seeing you in Heaven line when I remembered that Hakkai was convinced that he would end up in Hell._

_ShadowKat-Shidobukatsu, there you go. Here's the ending. I hope you like it. If I had insisted on dragging it on any longer, you would have hated me, anyway. Better quit while you're ahead, ne?_

_LilCheekyAngel, sorry I couldn't update sooner. My schedule doesn't really allow me to do much writing. I will do my best next time, of course._

_Rnij and Mysterious A, sorry for making you cry. I don't like making people cry. But I'm glad that I got the mood that I wanted from the tragedy chapter._

_ChoHakkai941, I really do find your words flattering. You don't have to thank me for doing something I love doing, I would have posted this whether you hated me for it or not. Rather, thank you for reading my work._

_VG Terra, thank you so much for making me realize that I had forgotten about Goku! Don't worry about it, a short review is still a review and thank you for taking the time to write it._

_MikaSamu, I hope this ending is happy enough for you. I know, they didn't all end up together in Heaven, but, at the risk of sounding like Kanzeon Bosatsu, I would say, Where's the fun in that? An open end like this would keep creative juices flowing, right? Although the juices are not necessarily mine._

_Attiqah Gensui, well, I'm going to go hide now before you kill me. :-) And here's the epilogue._

_Thanks to all you guys who reviewed earlier chapters. My apologies to anyone I might have missed._

_Once again, thank you to everyone who read up to his point. I am honored that you did just that._

_Sincerely,_

_paris_


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